Monthly BroadCast 2016 (Second Quarter)

April 2016

One reason why having goals is a great thing is that it gives us something to look forward to. Something new, something better or maybe even someone through new connections.

A new quarter is always an opportunity to review goals we have set for ourselves, family, career or business. Now is a time to pick up that list and get inspired to give ourselves a good pat on the back for those we can cross out and a re-boost on those we need to buckle up on.

And if you don't have a list, it's not late to pen something down. One line on every area of your life is a great way to start. A little step at a time and you'll definitely get there.

Have an Awesome April

May 2016

So, most times we have some fantastic ideas we want to launch out on. Some to impact lives and some mainly for personal development or perhaps to enrich our relationships. But many times we stall, infact most times we stall.

Here's one thing one of my mentors advised - start anyway and keep tweaking. More often than not, we are waiting for the perfect time. But there really isn't always a perfect time. 

Greatness begins with the little things...poco a poco. Even with errors, you'll be learning as you go. And will more likely get there than not starting. When it does get so tough, latch on to a word of encouragement that will bring back a stir.

May your May be blessed 

Fondly

June 2016

Of late life as a relay has been on my mind. Relay races, unlike other track events, have batons exchanged within a team at different points till the finish line is reached. Typically lots of practice is essential ahead of the day. And of course the right sports gear must be worn. 

At a time like this, you need to become conscious of the race you will run or are currently running. So, which team have you made yourself a part of? Do you all have eyes on the same and correct finish line? Do you know who you will take the baton from? Check who you are following (especially unconsciously). Are you aware someone somewhere is somewhat gearing to take a baton from you? (What legacy/footprints are you leaving behind?) Are you practicing rigorously enough to run your best? Will you keep on till the finish line is reached?

When this awareness settles with us, we are able to live even more deliberately. In particular though, ensure you take your baton from the right person(s) and handover with grace and inspiration. Give your best always and persevere till the finish.

May your June be filled with Joy

Fondly

@Folafayo

Photo Credit - Linked in // https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_800_800/p/4/005/0a0/1cb/367cdf9.jpg

Monthly BroadCast 2016 (First Quarter)

January 2016

It's another year again and it's definitely promising to be packed with lots of goodies. But then 2015 came with a lot as well and personally I ended the year extremely thankful.

However I've learnt that being grateful has no stop date, and for this year, it would only be awesome to wake up and sleep daily with a thankful heart. Remember a thank you to anyone who helps you or even for 'small' gestures. You could also start a journal of all that stirs gratitude in you, one you can read again & again during the year.

This will not only help you develop the ability to look out positively in life but it would make you even more beautiful. After all, thankful hearts radiate beauty.

Have a blessed January.


Fondly
@Folafayo

February 2016 

One thing that came strongly to me early in the year was this phrase - "Guard your heart".

We are often careful to look out for open doors in our homes and offices. And very rarely careless at night when we retire to bed. Sometimes even rechecking our locks to be sure we didn't miss any.

The heart shouldn't be treated any less. That is the womb that carries your goals and dreams. So, who are those you share your deep thoughts with? What images do you constantly behold? What words of life do you ensure gets in? Do they keep your heart safe or endangered?

Keep your heart guarded and have a fabulous February

Fondly@FolaFayo

March 2016

Every now and then we learn something new. It could be deliberate like reading a book, attending a training or one-on-one interaction with someone who shares insights or tips with us.

Some other times, we bump into new lessons. A quote we see online, a message we hear on the media just flipping the channels or even those experiences we have that leave strong impressions on us.

One needful thing though, that will differentiate you as time goes on are the practices you take up as a result of these learnings to be better. Sometimes God may allow an experience re-occur until we actually master responding to such differently more so in a better way.

Don't leave your learning opportunities at jotting stage, or sharing with others. Make it a habit to include as a new action in your life.

Have a Marvellous March

Fondly@FolaFayo 

Monthly BroadCast 2015 (Last Quarter)

October 2015

There's this story I've known for a while. 2 men who had the opportunity to build a house. 

One built his on a rock, and the other on sand. Sure enough, the rains & storms came. The rock house remained. It withstood the force and pressure because it had a strong foundation. But not the house on the sand, with an unstable one.

Everyday we are building. Our faith, our relationships, our parenting, our health, our career & our future. But on what foundation?

Any unstable foundation must be changed. It's never too late to rebuild, and to build right. Tough times will come, but that sure foundation will sustain.

Be blessed
Fondly by @Folafayo

November 2015

On one hand, education adds knowledge and on another, it equips with the ability to learn even more.

But then outside the 'walls' of a school it is also important to keep learning - new things and new ways especially in areas that matter so much to us.

If you aren't yet taking time to learn more about that career, that relationship, parenting/raising kids or even keeping fit/healthy, then probably it's really not that high on your priority list.

'Now' is a always a good time to pick that book, search for an article, attend a training, speak to an expert, listen to a podcast, join a relevant group/community... to get a reboost and step up your confidence level. Just keep learning because it will help you be better and do better

Have a blessed November
Fondly by @FolaFayo

December 2015  

What will differentiate you now from who you'll be this time next year will include the dreams you have & the goals you set now.

"If you could see yourself in terms of your true potential, you wouldn't recognize yourself" - JC Maxwell

As 2015 gradually takes a bow, I'd like to leave you with these -

*Go over your goals/dreams list for this year (some achievements and some outstandings may surprise you)
*Start preparing your goal/dream list for the new year
*As an idea comes to mind, even if it seems challenging, note it down somewhere (e.g. On your phone)
*As much as possible, include an image to those points (images are stronger than words)
*And start praying about it (Because you'll always require supernatural help). 

On behalf of myself and my family, here's wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic 2016 in advance.

Fondly
@FolaFayo

Monthly BroadCast 2015 (3rd Quarter)

July 2015

I apologize for not sending out a note in June. My desire to bless will keep me going still.

In a discussion I had recently, my position on an issue was questioned. I believe the ease with which I was able to respond was tied to my personal conclusion on that topic long before it was raised. 

Another reason would be where my values along that line lie currently.

It's the 2nd half of the year, if anything, we want to be more deliberate. Now is the time to...

*Be decisive on our plans/grey areas
*Tap into support from the right people/sources to do this
*Be clear on our values and ensure they are the basis for those decisions/positions

...even long before they get questioned/challenged/tested.

Have a joy-filled July
Fondly from @FolaFayo


August 2015

So we continue with the second half of the year, trying to achieve our goals and accomplish feats. 

Sometimes however, the 'simple' daily routine seems so overwhelming, that we are unable to do anything extra towards those goals.

So that those goals don't stay untouched, my encouragement is to


*Start Small
*Stay consistent
*Share with Someone who will hold you accountable 

That book you want to read, cover a page today. And another tomorrow, and then again. That business you want to start, get more info about it then make one sale, and then another. 

Just keep that passion alive by keep on keeping on.

Have an Awesome August
Fondly from @ FolaFayo


September 2015

There are times when we probably wonder why something that is "important" to us isn't flourishing. Or maybe we ask ourselves why we aren't so upbeat about that "passion". 

Well I've been reminded recently that what we focus on grows. So maybe what we expect to do so well isn't, but definitely something else that has our focus is.

The challenge is to identify what has taken our attention and then try to switch it with what is more important to us. Our energies naturally flow to where our mind is, and the mind is filled with what we see / gaze on.

What are you beholding?

Have a special September 
Fondly from @FolaFayo

Monthly BroadCast 2015 ( 2nd Quarter)

April 2015

The goal post in soccer is fixed before a match so all players are aligned on how to achieve success, whether as an attacker, in the midfield or in defence. Before 2015, most of us also set goals on areas we wanted to achieve success - spiritually, financially, with our health, in our relationships or career.

This new quarter is a good time to review them. To reset reminders if necessary that would help us achieve them. For those who haven't it's never too late to have something to look forward to. I was challenged to see how much work I still have to put in some areas but excited at the ones I can cross out. 

Also, if you had a promise from God for the year, now is the time to take out your note and read it again. For encouragement and for hope, that so much still lies ahead in 2015.

Have an Awesome April
@FolaFayo

May 2015

It is true many of us know that to be more productive, we need to identify and note down our goals. To even break them into to do's and also to prioritize them.

However there are times when resources especially the 24hours (or 18hours of "awake-time") aren't enough to cover those daily priorities. I was there again recently, but with the help of my hubby was reminded to schedule the priorities.

When you get around this, you discover how much more important some to do's are. You can actually cross out a few completely, and eventually become less stressed covering them with available resources.

May your May be impactful

Fondly
@FolaFayo

June 2015..oops! this was one extremely busy month for me and my family and I was unable to share anything. 

Gratefully I recovered in Q3...watch this space!

Monthly Broadcast 2015 (1st Quarter)

So, in the past two years or thereabout, I have broadcasted messages monthly (via Whatsapp) to inspire, motivate and encourage. For posterity sake :), I will now include them on Footsteps.

Also, only a few people get the messages and those who have not had the opportunity to read them in the past, can now do so on the blog. I will share in the next few weeks all the broadcasts so far for 2015 in a quarterly format, starting with the first.

I'm sure the messages will still be as relevant and timely as when shared earlier in the year too. Be blessed...!

(For January 2015, it was simple New Year Greeting, wishing everyone a great year ahead) 

February 2015
Ok, it is true that we are all different and we have our way of doing things - from making eggs to brushing our teeth...from how we make friends to how we handle issues.

However as we relate more with people, if we let ourselves be open, we discover new ways which may actually be better.

If one is the same person one was 5 years ago, there is a problem. Each year should have come with at least one new and better way...as we continue in the new year, be open, be true to change... be better.

Have a Fabulous February
@FolaFayo

March 2015  
Just this week, I came across this quote in a book by Francine Rivers - "Don't let a day go by without seeing some wonder in it".

Simple as it sounds, it could be a challenge sometimes. Probably because we feel like our to do list never seems to end, people around us are falling below our expectations, uncertainties holding us back from certain decisions or the days seem to pass quite stressfully.

Yet it is possible. A wonder in your spouse's touch or kind gesture; your kids smile or soft breath while sleeping; the bird that takes flight at the slightest sound; the sun's rays as it rises, it's effects as it sets...there are wonders all around, if we will look. All pointing to a God who has you on His mind all the time.

Have a blessed month this March
@FolaFayo

(PhotoCredit - ShutterStock , S.R.Lee Photo Traveller)

There's More To You

Sometime ago, I was trimming my son's nails and then he asked, "Mummy why does this, though small, make noise?" He was wondering why there was sound coming from such trivial activity and with small objects. My response to him – it’s not always about the size of a thing but what it is made of.

Then I went on to explain various types of materials and their properties. I also mentioned different sizes of things that could be made from them and their varying strengths or capacity to produce sound when broken or cut. As I explained, I was reminded that our 'size' or what others see is not all there is to us. Infact our parts which cannot be seen actually define us, distinguish us from others and determine how we ‘make noise’ when being broken or cut.

There are a number of parts to who we are, but an important one is what we believe. What we believe about ourselves, what we believe about others, what we believe about life (and many life issues), what we believe about what we see and what we believe about life beyond this life. But most importantly is what we believe about the One who made us, His thoughts about us and plans for us.

The truth is, we live life and deal with what it throws at us based on what we believe. If you want to stir change in your life or others, you need to start with the belief system. I know what I believe, do you?

A story many know comes to mind, about the wise man and the foolish man who built houses. The wise man built his on the rock and foolish on sand. When the storm came, the house on the sand collapsed but the one on the rock stood firm. The story did not say any of the houses was built with poor materials but it was clear that their foundations differentiated them. So our foundation is also as important as what we believe. Personally, I recommend building all of life on that which is permanent especially the eternal. Temporary things are not only short term but wreck and waste the best of efforts and resources.

As we continue in the year, with the opportunities for the new and for change, let's be challenged to review our beliefs and also become more conscious of them. Let us also ensure our lives (attitudes, values, dreams and works) are based on foundations that will stand the test of time, in particular with eternal value.

The Vantage Point

Despite the fact that I squeal over the possibilities of an engagement announcement and get a little 'mushy' perusing wedding and other related photos, bridal showers weren't events I used to be at in the past. Probably because it was not really in vogue where I grew up and even in my time. So being at my lil sister's bridal shower was a rare one for me and memorable too.

Now I also don't know what actually goes down at most showers, but the planners of this one made sure there was good time devoted to talking. During this session, questions were asked and lots of counsel shared, mostly from the experiences of those who have been married years before. All to better prepare the new bride for the new phase.

I felt privileged being able to contribute my own bit, having been on this journey for some years too. It seemed natural to look back at the many lessons I'd garnered over the years and to bring it to such a forum to share.

In reality, we all stand in what I'll call 'Points of Advantage'. We've been there, we've seen that, we've done that. We have had successes that brought us gladness. We have had falls, stirred ourselves up, brushed off the dusts and resumed the runs. In all, we have grown and gathered such wealth of knowledge that only experience doles to those it has had direct contact with.

On another hand, life gives us opportunities to leave footprints for those coming after, such that they would run even better. It allows us from the strength we have gained to provide a helping hand or a supporting shoulder to that one who has become weary.

However, at other times, it challenges us to seek out those opportunities to share our wisdom because of the Vantage Point where we now stand. It is easy to look down on certain moments of our lives and assume no one needs to hear that story, but you'll be amazed at how desperately some need them.  

I remember the movie – Vantage Point, which I watched years back. It showed clearly how the spots where people have stood in life have better positioned them for specific views of life's happenings. Eventually our vantage points when better perceived helps connect those dots when we've stepped out of it all.

So then, as we live and learn, let us maximise our many Vantage Points so someone else may see better, understand deeper, or just simply be reminded that that impossible is possible.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

I was about stepping out of the house a couple of weeks back and like most of us do, decided to check myself out. Truly a mirror check of one's self is not all about vanity.

It's easy to smile now, especially because the 'disaster' did not happen. It was one of those bad-hair days and I’d chosen to use a scarf. A convenient bail out on days like that, but must also be well done to avoid 'stories that touch'...lol. I probably felt it wasn't my first time and could tie it without looking into a mirror. But that last look, that last minute of saying, “...mirror, mirror on the wall, am I as fair as I should be today?” was my saving moment. I'd tied it all wrong, with parts that shouldn't be revealed peeping out. Laughing at myself, I touched it up here and there, and dashed out.

I'm sure many of us have had similar experiences too, from wearing our shirts inside out, buttoning them all wrong, mismatching accessories or discovering food stuck on our teeth. This one left me with deeper thoughts on how important mirrors are. If we'll only be true to what we see and make appropriate touch ups, many disastrous images or wrong representations of who we are would be corrected just at the right time. For physical looks, I’m sure many ladies reading this, would be like....come on, I carry a mirror around, and take a quick peep at every reflecting metal I pass. However, this goes beyond the physical.

God has been kind enough to bless us with people around us, who could serve as mirrors. To help us with feedback on how we look, how we do, how we talk, how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves. Yes I know, some give these feedback in discouraging ways, at the wrong time and some even without being asked. The issue really is what we do with the reflections from these people-mirrors. Do we ignore? Are we humble enough to receive them and eventually make attempts to touch up? Or are we surrounded by people who tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to?

Bible readers are familiar with the scripture that talks about a man looking at himself in the mirror, and forgetting what he looks like afterwards. This verse not only helps us see our need to have the Word of God also as mirror for our lives, but encourages us to do something about what we see. It's either you're confident after looking into it to continue in the good graces. Or you are clearer on the gaps in certain life areas that need to be worked on - health, finance or relationships.

Let me  include the need for us to strike a balance with this. Some feedback or counsel will not be true, or in our best interest. Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Les Brown and many others became success stories despite the negative things they had been told. They were not deterred from their personal convictions on who they were or what they could do. For this I’ll say don't gaze too long into bad mirrors.

As I conclude, it is good to open up more to feedback, be more sincere with ourselves, and make efforts to improve. I also leave us with the challenge to be true mirrors for others. Not like those funny mirrors at fairs that give distorted images of a fatter, shorter, thinner version of the object but those giving accurate reflections. Our feedback should propel change, boost morale... as we speak the truth, even in love.

2014... What Will You Sow?

I was in a discussion with some close friends over the holidays. And we looked at the different encouragements and themes many people, groups, organisations and ministries/churches start the year with. Then one of us asked a question. Is there anywhere people are challenged to look out for what to give in a new year? Or in another way, are we being inspired to make a difference in life or community as against, what we would get?

This got me thinking beyond that day. Personally I'm a believer in having a positive outlook to a new beginning (like a year) by having a theme to focus on. I even recommend it. That way, as much as possible the mind is stayed on what is right. And more often than not, it help brings about the right results too.

However, this year, I've been compelled to reconsider an addition to this perspective. It's like a farmer, who commences a season with a great harvest in mind. The big question to ask him would be "what seed are you planning to sow?" This would lead to other deliberations like what kind of field/soil must he have, when must he plant, how must he plant, what other people or things must he have for this great harvest to be a reality.

My thought is many get to hear these encouragements, sometimes even quote them often but don't go beyond believing. However, if a farmer sows no seed, no matter how big his harvest dream is, he'll get nothing.

So here's the simple challenge, we need to ask ourselves over and over again this question. What am I going to sow to achieve this year's favour, supernatural turnaround, upgrade, increase et al. Like I learnt from my hubby recently, your seed could be in 3 forms - Time, Talent or Treasure. Do you know what seed you must sow for that harvest?

Do you have to believe more, spend more time with God, wake earlier, sleep later?  Do you need to learn something new, revisit the drawing board on a forgotten project? Are you going to be more committed in your relationship, communicate better, talk less, meet new people? Would you let go of some mindsets, give to a charity or someone really in need... When this has been identified, then look into the best way to sow it. Try to learn from others, and also ensure you maximise all opportunities that come up.

I'm assured this additional approach to starting a new phase, would help a great deal. Even the Great Book says - He gives seed to the sower...you have a seed, do you know it, will you sow it? For surely, we can't take 2014 like 2013 and expect anything different.

'Been There, 'Stand Here, 'See That

 

It was six men of Indostan

To learning much inclined
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The first approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! But the Elephant
Is very like a WALL!”

… The Third … And happening to take
The squirmy trunk… Thus boldly spoke up and spake:
“…Is very like a SNAKE!”

 …The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell …is very like a FAN!”

…And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

 (The Blind Men and the Elephant

John Godfrey Saxe (1816 – 1887))

This is an abridged version of this poem, but I have tried to leave some vital details. I learnt it way back in my elementary days, but recent happenings have brought to mind its major lesson. And this has helped me see some issues a bit differently.

Now these ‘blind’ men were in fact using all they had basically to understand the ‘wonder’ they had come to meet. Each one interpreting from their experience based on where they stood and what they touched.

My assumption is that if they all changed positions, they might still say similar things (maybe not exact), to what the previous man had said. So instead of ‘snake’, maybe another blind man would have said ‘hose’ or even ‘rope’. The previous experiences they have had (the turns of life faced, perhaps even personal discovery from victories and failures) shaped each one’s perception leading to those final conclusions.

We all go through life facing issues and getting to hear what others go through. How we perceive those situations, how we judge and also react is tied to our personalities and what has made us who we are (experiences and exposure).

My take from this is that to a big extent, all views and opinions are relatively fair. This realization could actually help us handle issues, especially those involving people a little more differently. In actual fact our different personalities, upbringing, knowledge gained, association and exposure are continually driving how we see. Changes in these also modify our perception too, that is why we are continually changing. It is also why we may not be right all of the time. I could say my town is the largest place on earth, till I stand at the top of the Empire State building (102 floor bldg. in New York) and look at the view from there. However, like the last stanza put their views… albeit subtly fair, not necessarily right.

This does not essentially mean we should leave others in their ‘wrong’ since they may just be seeing or experiencing a small part of the bigger picture. The focus when desiring to help should be to change what we can. Their past and personalities are beyond us, but we can help them adjust even if just a bit from where they stand. We may need to patiently take them round to feel more parts of the elephant, get the bigger picture to respond even more appropriately. Personally, I also try to pray, because it could be tough. So when next someone says ‘really that cup is half empty’, pause and remember this poem before you decide how to respond.

The other challenge is ourselves. We need to make sure we are humble and open to allowing others help us see from a different angle, to share from what they have experienced, or the superior information they have on that issue before we respond or conclude. We need to be flexible to shift from where we stand to where we can get a clearer view and have a better opinion. And probably instead of those individual parts emphasized in the poem, we’ll say, the elephant is all of these indeed.

Even Cinderella Had Till Midnight

I’m sure many would understand what it is like to get an inspiration on something to share, but never really get around doing it. That is the case with this post. As time passed I’ve also had different ideas on how to title it, from ‘Yes the grass may just be greener on the other side, but the owner of the field probably has blisters’ to ‘It’s not going to come or stay that easy’. Finally I decided on this perhaps because it’s the most recent.

 

For all who recall the famous Cinderalla story, her wishes did come true (courtesy of her fairy godmother) but then could only hold till Midnight. ‘Cos in reality, wishes are limited. They could set us off on the course but we have more to do in reality. And this actually is the message I’ve carried in my mind for so long, with too many incidents hitting it home over and over again.

 

Life allows us very often the occasion to compare. To look over the fence and often just wish for the results and accomplishments of others, but very rarely the efforts that have been put in. It’s about time we go beyond that, and consciously move to being deliberate and purposeful about what we truly wouldn’t mind, what we really want in every area of life.

 

No relationship for example would blossom without being cared for. Be it with family, friends, colleagues or even God. It’s easy to watch others and desire the intimacy/rapport we see. But it wasn’t automatic for them. Choices were made, actions were deliberately taken that is why they enjoy what they have. Are you willing to be humble, to compromise for fairness, to serve, to give (hugs, kisses, time, encouragement and support or gifts), forgive offenses and even to pray? Are you ready to show courtesy, saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ at the right time and in the right way? So if you are fortunate to be married to a rare gem, you’ll need to brace yourself up more consciously for that gem to remain rare, even to you.

 

That child of yours is not going to be a believer in your faith, ideals and values just because you are. You need to make sure you walk the talk, in addition to teaching because that’s what kids know best. No school is going to make a genius out of your child (academically or in extra-curricular). Look out for the “outliers” in your child’s school, there’s definitely something different the folks are doing. What have you observed in your child? What have you done so far? Are you ready to motivate, encourage or pay an expert to coach to help him be the best he can be?

 

Yes you graduated the same year as that friend of yours. Probably you even got your great job months before he got his. How come he rarely complains of needing funds for personal things, he even just invested in another income generating opportunity. And he also gets to go on vacations to take a break now and then. Yet you don’t understand how your take home isn’t actually taking you home. You shouldn’t be wondering, instead ask questions, read books (e.g. the Richest man in Babylon, simple and practicable), make a plan, if possible get someone you can be accountable to, note your expenses and review it, save something as often as you can, invest in other streams of income…it won’t be easy but your grass will get greener.

 

The same applies to your health. How careful are you about what and when you eat? Don’t just sign up at that gym, get started. What of that skill/knowledge you gained a while back? It will only remain unproductive as long as you don’t upgrade or creatively apply it, even if voluntarily.

 

In all honesty, it’s difficult to push though on anything that doesn’t even mean anything to us. It’s tough to consciously study and learn about what we don’t value. Perhaps it’s a re-orientation that is required, to begin to value, and stop taking casually those things that really matter. But if for any reason, that relationship means the world to you, if your health should tell a different story in your lineage, if your child is indeed your treasure… by all means, go beyond wishing, become deliberate, even get the blisters because the sun and the rain would come and they will help guarantee the greenness of your field.

Don't Lose The Reason Why

Indeed there would be times in our relationships especially marriages when we ask ourselves - what exactly was the reason or purpose for this? Situations could come up to question why you even went far enough to say "I Do".

I believe God must have been touched by my musings on this, cos I was led to the popular scripture in Ecclesiastes...

Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much betterIf one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he's in troubleAlso on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone?And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; Three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken(Chapter6 v 9-12 TLB)

Rewind back to Gen 2v18... And the Lord said..'It isn't good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs'

Yes, scripture is our life manual, and definitely the best source for solutions on any issue and answers to questions we have. There are many other references to marriage aside these, but for now I would stay on these.

So here's my encouragement, when those thoughts come, remember...

1. Companionship is good and God had this in mind. In this relationship, you have a friend to talk to, someone to spend time with, share life with and all the blessings that come with it.

2. Man, she is your helper, suited to meet your needs. Equipped to, if you'll allow her.

3. Woman, you are his helper. With you, he is even better off.

4. Together, you accomplish more. Your results on things done jointly are way better.

5. Somehow, most times, you are not both down at the same time. So that the one up can support the one down to stand again. Many times you don't see things the same way, so that you can both share different perspectives on an issue for a more balanced position and decision. (When this happens with us, my hubby and I call each other 'check and balance')

6. A cold night, cozy under the blanket...nothing like a great love making to the one you're committed to and who is committed to you. You have the right to legit romance and passion, no rush, no guilt, no shame.

7. Back to back, that's your warfare position...you've got his/hers, he's/she's got yours.

8. The ultimate, ultimate...when the one who established it is involved, God Himself; as foundation, as wall around, as light by day and fire by night....it is guaranteed, destiny would be fulfilled, your Canaan would be reached and possessed.

To conclude on this, just recently I read some articles that further inspired me, so try to...

9. Remember those special things about him/ her that you fell in love with; that made your eyes so single (and focused back then) and your body full of light. That's why it is him/her not another. Remind him/her about these things.

10. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. So you don't fall into the error of abuse, thankfully re-commit to God. He has a way of restoring the specific sense of purpose of our marriages and the flame so many cares have started to almost blow out.

At His Feet,
Fola''Fayo

Bobby Jones Also Taught Me...

In my last post, I was able to share 3 of the lessons I took away from the movie on the life of Bobby Jones. Should I say in another way, lessons he taught me, even though we never met. This is often the case in life though, further enhanced by technology, the internet and social media. People we have never met and would never meet are influencing us and we them. More people can watch you, more can listen to you, more can read from you..., so what information are you sharing, what lessons are you teaching?



As Bobby grew older, he got involved in informal plays and then competitions. People began to notice him more, especially because he was so young compared to those he played with. On one of his trips at the early stages of his exposure to the limelight he said "I don't think I want to be famous...I just want to play". That definitely challenged me. One may say, he was just a kid, what did he know. But then, approaching life from a kid's perspective...innocent and pure (even in motivation) is usually a healthy approach. He saw what he did and was more into it for the fun he derived, he thoroughly enjoyed himself. That was why it turned out so differently for him. Later in life, he said again, 'once you play for money, you can't call it amateur'; he preferred to be referred to as an amateur. I like to use the word passion to describe this. I feel it's a differentiating factor and also a sustaining one. What you do now, is it fun? Do you enjoy it? If you never got a dime or recognition for it, would you continue all the same?... mhh, time will tell.



At one of the opens he played in, Bobby reported an infraction which set him back in the game and eventually affected his win. At that point, he displayed the height of sportsmanship. He was more concerned about doing it right than winning. We also do get to those points in life, when we have to make tough choices. Do we choose to show integrity or win (knowing, we've broken the rules)? If we become so overtaken by the sense of always competing, always wanting to be the first or the only ones achieving some feats, it's so easy to fall into this error. Sometimes never learning the rules (but then ignorance is no excuse), or knowing them and never truly valuing them. In addition to the dent to one's name or personality, what's the use of breasting the tapes and then getting disqualified for running so wrong? On the long run, truth, sincerity and fairplay always win. Some famous personalities especially athletes have suffered falls from this too....if only they had known. Learn the rules, play by it, sometimes it hurts, but then it pays.



Bobby played more, won more, and became very famous. This involved traveling more, practicing more...it started to tell on his health, and even on his marriage. Tell -tale signs were blinking red lights...and then he stopped. He retired. He stepped out of competitions. Simply putting it, he knew when to stop. This is another challenge all of us face. The question 'when will you stop?' Or 'when will you say no'. If we get carried away by fame, always putting up a show, always being there, or perhaps the idea that without us, some things will never be, then we allow the more important aspects of our lives to deteriorate, and we eventually lose out. Watch your relationships, watch your health; those are usually the first to give warning signs. Do not take them for granted, besides, it's better to leave the scenes when you're still being celebrated. You really don't have to take up just any and every opportunity. Let's be careful and be bold enough to identify when to say no when we have to. Do you know when you've had enough, done enough and when to step out completely? ‘Cos truly, life never ends when this happens.

What Bobby Jones Taught Me

Unashamedly, I like movies. Infact I really enjoy watching movies, first for the entertainment derived and also the new things learnt. Apart from the effects that are achieved post production of some, I'm particularly thrilled by the creativity put into them - the plots, the quotes, the make up, props and costume.

Like music and books I do stay away from certain genres. I know very well to guard my heart by watching the things I expose my eyes and ears to. Sometimes though, I struggle to watch some movies, consciously pushing out the 'behind the scenes' like locations of lighting, cameras, director, producers et al. This wasn't quite the case with Bobby Jones - Strike of a Genius. 

 

Ok, I don't play golf yet (I will definitely someday, outside of wii) and don't even know all the rules but I do like the little I know already. Probably this and the movie - The Legend of Bagger Vance, which I watched a while back motivated me not to change the dial. I'm glad I did not. Inspite of the not so encouraging reviews some have written about it, I still feel very positive about it. I learnt a number of things, but I'll pick my top two to share in this post. 

The early days of Bobby show him tagging along with his dad on golf courses (despite grandpa's disapproval). Watching and learning without paying a fee. What better way is there to stir up an interest in a person than starting casually, without cohesion, without duress, especially a young mind? Also, do the young ones around you know what you're passionate about? Are they opportune to watch, to study even leisurely? If yes, you might be raising a protégée without even knowing it. If no, you may want to create opportunities even deliberately to stir. 

Another learning point was while he (still so young) was at a tournament where the masters were competing. He knew them. He brought out a book (probably from his dad) and was pointing them out, and the peculiarities he knew about them to his friend. It got me thinking. Is it possible to be passionate about a cause or a field of endeavour and not know those topping the charts. Is it possible not to have heard of the works of the experts who have blazed the trail, the professionals who have broken records, the gurus who have left footprints in the sands of time in that area?In as much as one can't model one's life totally after any, their strengths (even weaknesses) and teachings are great learning points. Is it possible to say then, if you don't know or can't say anythng about anyone in this regard, perhaps, you're completely in a new terrain, or perhaps you haven't discovered what you're really interested in? And you may want to make an effort to discover and learn from them, or keep records of your learnings for others. 

To be contd... 

On The Way There

As I prepare this note, I am filled with deep gratitude for my life and the many blessings of God I enjoy. One thing I know God has blessed me with, is the ability to think deeply about a matter.When a thought or idea comes my way the brooding process begins. It turns over and over, I perceive different dimensions to it, and then begin to spot and identify information around me that explains it more. A lot of times though, in His Presence (my Secret Place), I get conclusions and directions. Recently, this happened again.

 

I actually have some recordings on this, so I would start from there, knowing many aren’t privy. It’s on Purpose.Lately for me, the pursuit of purpose has practically consumed me. I pray a lot about it and have discussed with close ones too. The major concern for me, is not wanting to “dilly-dally”. Like I say often, I just want to hit the bull’s eye on this one. I won’t say I’ve got to a satisfactory point yet, but I would like to share some learnings God brought my way.

 

Many of us are also at that point, where we want to discover what we’re here for and living it, or that value we are meant to be adding or that message we are meant to be delivering.A big question however is, what is driving that pursuit? Is it the fear of being left behind by your peers or perhaps being outraced by those coming after you? Is it the ambition to achieve great feats just so your name can be recorded in some hall of fame? The truth is when these are weighed against ‘the Time beyond time’, these reasons won’t matter. What will go through to the life beyond now, is YOU and the thoughts of the One who is ever out of time, God Himself. And my take out on this was, WHO YOU BECOME while you pursue, discover and live purpose is key. In other words, are you becoming a better you according to His standard? Are you being refined into Gold?

 

The second learning for me came while discussing this topic again with a friend. It was further reinforced with a tweet I saw by TD Jakes on embracing the process. I’ll say on this simply- MAXIMIZE THE MOMENT. Many of us are so caught up in achieving certain things that we miss the details along the way.I asked someone lately, if you were blindfolded and made to touch the hand of five people (the sex/gender of your spouse), would you be able to tell who your spouse is? This may be simple for some, but what about other details like the fingers/toes of your kids. The window the sun shines through in the morning in your house. The taste of the different spices in your meal. The (new) logo on your favourite brand. Mmh… the details, the process, the journey… seemingly trivial, but very key as well.

 

The last, but definitely not the least is this. Discovery of purpose outside of discovering the One who made you is really incomplete. When it has all been said and done. We’ll get to the other life. To me, it’s the real life. It’s weird to put two strangers in a place to live forever. My thoughts, you certainly don’t want to spend eternity with someone you don’t know. Why not spend the time here, while going about pursuing purpose, getting to know the One who made you? This is more than what others tell you about Him or what you read. It should be you experiencing Him for yourself, and knowing Him one on one. I believe this on its own will give the sense of fulfillment that can’t be matched by any other experience this side of life.

 

I’m convinced that as we become careful and conscious of who we become, appreciate the details of our journeys /processes, as well as experience God ; discoveringand fulfilling purpose will become truly rewarding.

Little Things Can Make A Big Difference

While there's a natural tendency to want to 'think big' , 'do big' and 'be big' in life, relationships and business, much of the results we get are in doing the little things in a consistent way. Doing the little things makes a big difference, much bigger than we are willing to admit.

Listen to the news and see how people are changing their world by doing seemingly little things. I read the profiles of most of the CNN Heroes of 2012, and one thing struck me - they were ordinary people, doing little things in their own ways, to change their worlds.
I witnessed a fatality some weeks back, on a highway in Cairo. The car involved was almost brand new and all the safety gadgets needed to protect anyone must have been in place. However, the driver was not wearing his seat belt! As 'little' or trivial as that might sound, it was what made the difference between life and death.

Did you hear about the bridge that collapsed in Japan recently? 9 people were killed and several injured. Initial reports shows that a missing bolt (yes, something as small as a missing bolt) was responsible for the collapse. Can you imagine that? Those little things sure can make a very big difference.

I know and work with a lot of very successful leaders and aspiring leaders who set very ambitious improvement goals for themselves. They want to be more strategic, lead change, be more visionary, improve their presentation skills, learn marketing and finance, and improve their work-life balance. Yes, these are all important and impressive goals. They can be huge mountains to climb, and could even take years to achieve or master.  However, approaching these goals little by little but consistently, would ultimately get them there. This  reminds me of a parent that screamed at her teenager: "if you want to clean up the environment, why don't you start by cleaning your damn room".

If you add a little to a little and do this often, soon the little will become great.

I came across this story a couple of years ago that further explains how little things, like acts of kindness and courtesy, can go a long way in making a huge difference.

Many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small Philadelphia hotel. "All the big places are filled," the man said. "Can you give us a room?" The clerk replied that with three conventions in town, no accommodations were available anywhere. "Every guest room is taken," he said, but then added, "but I can't send a nice couple like you into the rain at one o'clock in the morning. Would you be willing to sleep in my room?" The next morning as he paid his bill, the elderly man said to the clerk, "You are the kind of manager who should be the boss of the best hotel in the United States. Maybe someday I'll build one for you." The clerk laughed and forgot about the incident. About 2 years later, however, he received a letter containing a round trip ticket to New York and a request that he be the guest of the elderly couple he had befriended.

Once in New York, the old man led the clerk to the corner of Fifth Avenue and Thirty-Fourth Street, where he pointed to an incredible new building and declared "That is the hotel I just built for you to manage." The young man, George C. Boldt, accepted the offer of William Waldorf Astor to become the manager of the original Waldorf- Astoria, considered the finest hotel in the world in its time!

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.

May I encourage you not to neglect the little things, because you are focusing on the big things? May I encourage you to pay attention to the "little" things, even as you dream big? May I encourage you not to get carried away with the notion that if what we do is not big enough, it could make no difference?  It is time for a paradigm shift - do not take for granted the 'little', do not overlook ' the little', and when all you get sometimes is 'little', do appreciate it. In actual sense, the 'Little' things do make a BIG difference.