Monthly BroadCast 2015 (3rd Quarter)

July 2015

I apologize for not sending out a note in June. My desire to bless will keep me going still.

In a discussion I had recently, my position on an issue was questioned. I believe the ease with which I was able to respond was tied to my personal conclusion on that topic long before it was raised. 

Another reason would be where my values along that line lie currently.

It's the 2nd half of the year, if anything, we want to be more deliberate. Now is the time to...

*Be decisive on our plans/grey areas
*Tap into support from the right people/sources to do this
*Be clear on our values and ensure they are the basis for those decisions/positions

...even long before they get questioned/challenged/tested.

Have a joy-filled July
Fondly from @FolaFayo


August 2015

So we continue with the second half of the year, trying to achieve our goals and accomplish feats. 

Sometimes however, the 'simple' daily routine seems so overwhelming, that we are unable to do anything extra towards those goals.

So that those goals don't stay untouched, my encouragement is to


*Start Small
*Stay consistent
*Share with Someone who will hold you accountable 

That book you want to read, cover a page today. And another tomorrow, and then again. That business you want to start, get more info about it then make one sale, and then another. 

Just keep that passion alive by keep on keeping on.

Have an Awesome August
Fondly from @ FolaFayo


September 2015

There are times when we probably wonder why something that is "important" to us isn't flourishing. Or maybe we ask ourselves why we aren't so upbeat about that "passion". 

Well I've been reminded recently that what we focus on grows. So maybe what we expect to do so well isn't, but definitely something else that has our focus is.

The challenge is to identify what has taken our attention and then try to switch it with what is more important to us. Our energies naturally flow to where our mind is, and the mind is filled with what we see / gaze on.

What are you beholding?

Have a special September 
Fondly from @FolaFayo

2014... What Will You Sow?

I was in a discussion with some close friends over the holidays. And we looked at the different encouragements and themes many people, groups, organisations and ministries/churches start the year with. Then one of us asked a question. Is there anywhere people are challenged to look out for what to give in a new year? Or in another way, are we being inspired to make a difference in life or community as against, what we would get?

This got me thinking beyond that day. Personally I'm a believer in having a positive outlook to a new beginning (like a year) by having a theme to focus on. I even recommend it. That way, as much as possible the mind is stayed on what is right. And more often than not, it help brings about the right results too.

However, this year, I've been compelled to reconsider an addition to this perspective. It's like a farmer, who commences a season with a great harvest in mind. The big question to ask him would be "what seed are you planning to sow?" This would lead to other deliberations like what kind of field/soil must he have, when must he plant, how must he plant, what other people or things must he have for this great harvest to be a reality.

My thought is many get to hear these encouragements, sometimes even quote them often but don't go beyond believing. However, if a farmer sows no seed, no matter how big his harvest dream is, he'll get nothing.

So here's the simple challenge, we need to ask ourselves over and over again this question. What am I going to sow to achieve this year's favour, supernatural turnaround, upgrade, increase et al. Like I learnt from my hubby recently, your seed could be in 3 forms - Time, Talent or Treasure. Do you know what seed you must sow for that harvest?

Do you have to believe more, spend more time with God, wake earlier, sleep later?  Do you need to learn something new, revisit the drawing board on a forgotten project? Are you going to be more committed in your relationship, communicate better, talk less, meet new people? Would you let go of some mindsets, give to a charity or someone really in need... When this has been identified, then look into the best way to sow it. Try to learn from others, and also ensure you maximise all opportunities that come up.

I'm assured this additional approach to starting a new phase, would help a great deal. Even the Great Book says - He gives seed to the sower...you have a seed, do you know it, will you sow it? For surely, we can't take 2014 like 2013 and expect anything different.

The Little Growths

It has been a while indeed and I really don’t know how to make up for the months of not posting an article. My sincere apologies, as 2 major events actually led to this and it took me longer than I could have imagined getting myself together. I lost my maternal grandma, who was so special and I was ill for weeks following this. In addition, like all other posts, I didn’t want to just put anything together, I wanted to be sure what I was sharing had been a learning point for me and would be for someone else. It is therefore elating for me to have something to share finally.

Over the period of being ill and then recuperating, I had put a stop to many activities I had been involved with both at home and on the business front. I needed help to get so many things done, and would ever be grateful for those who were there all through. However at some point, I became really bothered, wondering when every single thing would come back to normal again and I would be able to do much more than before. In other words, I was kind of dissatisfied and even a little frustrated. Then I came across a verse from one of my favourite books – “He who loves money shall never have enough…” and my eyes were opened to the insatiable state we could always find ourselves.

On another hand, I pondered the patience with which the farmer awaits the germination of his sown seeds, first the blade then the ear and later the harvest; the patience with which the nursing mother watches the growth of her newborn as he learns to sit up, crawl then walk. And in addition to this the many milestones she celebrates like when the crown of the first tooth is noticed. It made me realize how easy it is to get to that point in life where we tend ignore the signs of seemingly small positive changes; and it gave me concern that we fail to acknowledge the milestones achieved on the way to fulfilling those goals we have set for ourselves.

Another verse from the same book says simply – godliness with contentment is great gain. It somewhat describes contentment as a treasure, having some form of satisfaction as a form of wealth. I have learnt in essence that, even when we achieve some things we’ve always desired to the 100% mark, we tend to shortlive the period of satisfaction because we are already focusing on the more we can still do or have.

This is not about encouraging mediocrity. It’s about coming to terms with the little growths and increase, and learning to acknowledge some, compliment some and definitely celebrate some. It is not only a differentiating attitude, it is an enriching one.

So for me, am I doing all I was doing before yet? No, but am I doing somethings now which I couldn’t do when I was really ill? Yes, and for those ones, I give myself some passmark, while still forging ahead for more. For some of us, it may be with expected changes we desire in our children/spouse or staff? Have they come to the full picture? Maybe not, but have they made some adjustments towards the change? Most likely. It could be with respect to the goals we had set at the beginning of the year. Has this goal been fully ticked off? Maybe not; Are we where we were on it at the beginning of the year? Probably not.

We should be encouraged to support these growths or changes by acknowledging or complimenting or celebrating them…for those feelings of satisfaction/contentment in little levels of achievements go a long way in giving us some level of fulfillment in life.

Stretch

Saturday 30^th October, 2010 - Up by 2 am, worked in the studio till about 7am when I took a break for breakfast and a nap before getting into the regular Saturday routine.

Sunday 31^st October 2010 - Up by 5am, worked in the studio till about 9am then I took a break to get ready for Church with the family and the rest of the regular Sunday schedule.

Monday 1^st November 2010 – Up by 1am, worked till 4am, took a short nap before starting the week.

And on and on, a peep into my diary in recent times. Even today, I worked from 3am till day break. Stretching, to meet deadline, to perfect my skill, to be better at what I do.

Thinking back though, for the first few weeks after leaving paid employment, I felt one of the things I needed to enjoy was a little more rest, like a nap in the afternoon or longer hours at night. But then I pondered on the routine of some popular/successful people.

Tiger woods

6:00 Weight workout (90 minutes)

7:30 Breakfast ; 8:00 Practice tee (2 hours); 10:00 Putting green

10:30 Play 9 holes; 12:00 Lunch; 1:00 Practice tee (2 hours)

3:00 Short game work; 4:00 Play 9 holes; 5:00 Putting green

5:30 Home

Even though he has played since he was two years old and has a very unique gift for the sport of golf, Tiger focuses on a detailed (and deliberate) practice routine each and every day. Deliberate practice makes Tiger a great golfer. (CrossHairs Trader)

Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart rises before the sun, well-rested and ultra-perky at 3:30 am. But, the fact is that no one has ever seen Martha Stewart sleep ... (Martha Stewart Everyway)

President Obama

He reads several papers, eats breakfast with his family and helps pack his daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, off to school before making the 30-second commute downstairs — a definite perk for a man trying to balance work and family life. He eats dinner with his family, then often returns to work; aides have seen him in the Oval Office as late as 10 p.m., reading briefing papers for the next day. (New York Times, January 2009)

John Grisham

When he first started writing, Grisham says, he had "these little rituals that were silly and brutal but very important."

"The alarm clock would go off at 5, and I'd jump in the shower. My office was 5 minutes away. And I had to be at my desk, at my office, with the first cup of coffee, a legal pad and write the first word at 5:30, five days a week."

His goal: to write a page every day. Sometimes that would take 10 minutes, sometimes an hour; ofttimes he would write for two hours before he had to turn to his job as a lawyer, which he never especially enjoyed. In the Mississippi Legislature, there were "enormous amounts of wasted time" that would give him the opportunity to write.

"So I was very disciplined about it," he says… (San Francisco Chronicle, Februay 2008)

What we see usually is the result of their stretches. I have learnt that what got them there and keeps them there is a lifestyle of consistency in giving more than what is common.

It didn’t take time for it to dawn on me that, if I also wanted to be different, then I couldn’t continue to do what the regular person did. I needed to stretch. Truth is, I need to put in extra to get into the extra-ordinary. I would only get out of life what others who sleep and wake at the common time get.

How spot on the words of this quote – The Heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in a sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the night - It regularly filled my mind when I was tempted to become laissez faire with my routine.

So now I stretch. For others it may take another format, but definitely to master that skill or ability, you need to give it more- maybe time, maybe attention. You may need to study more, make more cold calls for that sale or even practice more.

Looking t the end goal usually helps to stay on track with stretching. Even the Bible says…for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross (referring to Jesus Christ).

Remember you can’t get what others are not getting if you give just what they are giving. Keep that target in mind, then ssstttrrreeetttccchhh.

An Enabling Environment

I was opportune to revise with my daughter for her end of year’s exams sometime last month. One of the subjects for her class, General Knowledge covered a bit on Agriculture basics – types of soil. We studied the 3 major types (Clayey, Loamy and Sandy) and their uses. Just like most of us were taught way-back then, Loamy is the preferred for planting. It’s not that the others can’t allow for some form of growth, but definitely not anything good compared with what the loamy would do.

In the same month, there was an e-mail forward I came across, about a Nigerian family in Britain who had kids that were performing outstandingly beyond what their ages could ordinarily accomplish in academics. My colleagues and I discussed this seemingly chance happening but the consensus was that their being in Britain, in such schools and with such tutors, brought out the best in them.

These facts buttressed a learning - We thrive best in an enabling environment. Our potentials, our dreams, our plans are actualized best when we are located in an enabling environment; like a plant in the appropriate soil. A common saying I used to know goes like this – Apple trees don’t grow in Lagos. That means, there is place for everyone to come out in full bloom. My take on this is this - make sure you are located in your soil (your enabling environment).

However, beyond the physical environment, there is the mind-environment and association-environment. These as well must be supportive. To a great extent we even have better influence on them than even the physical. We can choose what goes on in our mind by what we feed it with and what people influence us by the choice of our confidants and friends.

A challenge then, could be in knowing when we are not in an environment that would be supportive to our potentials/dreams/aspirations. Also, when we are not and cannot move for some reasons, what we need to do.

In more advanced agriculture, each type of soil still has further classifications. Good farmers know which of these would give the best harvest for each crop. But first, they must know which crop they intend to cultivate. Same with us, the crop could be our dream, our plan or our potential. A previous article (Be Better, Know your SWOT -

www.folafayo.blogspot.com ) encourages us to know our strengths, for therein lies our potentials. When we know our crop, it would be easy to tell if the soil would aid growth and productivity. If I dream to be an Olympics medalist in swimming, and there is no pool within my reach, that dream is likely to remain a dream. It’s either I travel regularly to where one is or I re-locate close to one. My challenge on this is for you to note your plans, begin to dream, discover your potential, then you can tell if where you are would help actualize them. If your environment won’t be enabling, then move.

There may be instances when we feel the timing or some other reasons won’t allow us move to our preferred physical environment. What do we do while we wait? We must keep our mind and association environment in top gear. In other words, these two must be “fertilizing” to our plans, dreams or potentials. Just like some fertilizers can be used to enhance the ability of the soil when not good enough.

The state of your mind must become conditioned to bring you to thrive. You need to feed it with information that would motivate and inspire. You can learn to shut out negatives by focusing more on what is positive and what you desire to be. For associations, we need to minimize interactions with those who put us down, who laugh at our dreams and spend more time with those of like minds, those who make us think beyond where we are to what we can become.

We need to get the environment right (mind and association included) to keep energies up, passions alive, focus strong, till we come to full bloom and achieve.

Be better, know your SWOT

Over time, I’ve come to identify a passion for continuous development. I believe what makes you different now from how you were a while ago is how much and how well you have grown. I like to assess myself and those around me to ascertain if growth has occurred. For those who know me personally, I tend to challenge the status quo now and then… asking, can it be better? How else can it be done?

A few years back, I discovered the S.W.O.T analysis is not only meant for businesses. For continual and personal development, it’s an exercise we need to carry out periodically. It would help us appreciate our growth and strategize for further growth, in addition to increasing productivity.

S.W.O.T (for those not familiar with it) is the acronym for Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. In carrying out the analysis therefore, we assess ourselves on what we are good at, what we aren’t so good at (or not good at) and what is available to make us better or posing as a danger in our lives.

Due to our backgrounds, experiences, exposures and of course personalities, we have developed certain abilities that come naturally and easy to perform. Some can make something out of nothing, some can create a beauty out of a beast, some can sell an AC unit to an Eskimo, some can remember details or even memorize a 15-digit number. However strengths don’t have to be those genius-kind-of abilities alone, it could even be as simple as being able to cheer up someone (which I don’t think is simple anyway). The challenge is to appreciate the strength and keep it consistent.

Just as strengths come easy, so do weaknesses. In fact we tend to struggle more with weaknesses. Uncontrollable emotions, indiscipline (with self and resources) and many more are things we need to know early enough and begin to work on so it doesn’t deter our progress or even affect any aspect of our lives. I’ve started to use the term “gap” instead as it simply makes me know these are things that must be closed or resolved or brought to the barest minimum for my good and others as well.

While pondering over the SWOT, I’ve learnt that we can only know Opportunities and Threats when we have set certain goals and aspirations for ourselves. So for instance, if my plan is to become the head of a department in a particular function and I know I need some experience in a unit in the department, a vacancy in that unit for my level of skill is an Opportunity. On the other hand, if I discover the organization is making plans to restructure in such a way as to move me to a different role and department, to my career goal, that becomes a Threat.

Some threats however don’t always come looking negative, however when compared with our ultimate goal it becomes clear it would only serve to deter. There is therefore nothing as good as being able to identify an opportunity when it comes especially when one is prepared for it and keys into it. Same thing for being able to spot a threat on time, strategize and quickly deal with it.

A good way to get to know your strengths and weaknesses is with sincere feedback from those around you. I got a book recently and passed it round some friends to help me by asking them to state what I need to be consistent in and what gaps I need to close. On the opportunities and threats, I am constantly reviewing my goals, so it’s engraved in my sub-conscious and can set off alarms for both when they occur. I therefore encourage – know your SWOT, to grow, to be better or to be a step ahead.

Define Success for Yourself

I was able to take a short break from work recently and made a discovery that now means so much to me. By the way, a break is something I strongly recommend. Amongst other benefits, it also affords you the opportunity to take a step out of your regular routine to appreciate your life from a different angle and of course get better refreshed to continue. For me, I was opportune to meditate (when my kids were off my sensory range) on what Success meant to me.

I’ve come to realize that Success actually means different things to different people. Even for each individual, the phase of life one is in, the experience one is going through also determine what success is. However, most of us tie it to the achievement of goals alone. For a child in elementary school, success is probably about going home with a report that makes mum and dad smile. For another in college, it may be beyond just making the parent smile at graduation to making an excellent grade above peers. And then it goes on to getting a wonderful job, getting recognized as a star performer at work or winning the contract as a business owner.

Truth is when we achieve those goals, we do feel good, but not long after that, we’re pursuing something else. On the other extreme, we never really define it for ourselves. We let what others have defined it to be to determine how we rate ourselves on the ‘success-o-meter’. So there could be someone who feels good enough about being a size 12, but because others feel a size 8 or 10 has a better figure, she begins to feel less “successful” and then goes through so much to be a success by their definition.

For a long time, I have quietly asked myself what it would take for me to eventually feel confident as successful but the period of reflection I had during my leave settled it. It’s the concept behind what it means that really matters. Now, 2 simple words if met at any point in my life would tell me clearly that “Olubukola Ogunfayo, you are a Success”. In Performance Management, we call those words – Key Performance Indicators. They are COMFORT and RELEVANCE.

Yes, I know some may say comfort is relative, relevance is time-bound; but to me comfort would be ease of getting what I need or want at anytime and relevance, being critical at all times. Now what this has done for me is to make me easily assess how close I am to my Success target or rate my success level. I have taken time to review different areas of my life – Faith, Marriage, Work etc on how comfortable and relevant I am.

I have also decided on certain actions I will take, goals with timelines I need to set, identified resources I must get that would make achieve both in these areas. I will not trade one for another because both need to be there for me to feel successful.

My counsel on this is for everyone to know exactly what makes them feel successful. We need to be able to identify our success level at every point in life so we can comfortably say we have become success stories despite how others may feel. I have found mine, have you?

What Do You See?

April is an anniversary month for me and FOOTSTEPS. I’m a year older on exactly the last day of the month and it would be about 2 years of blogging. For me, anniversaries are worthy of reflections and celebration. This is majorly because one needs to be glad to be alive to see another one, and for progress since the last one (as there should have been, even if small). So truly, I feel blessed to be adding another year to my age and this blog, to look back between now and the last, and appreciate the growth so far.

In as much as I see the need to reflect at anniversaries, it is also a good time to project to where we want to be, like organizations do at their Year End Strategy Sessions, . Lately, an old learning has been coming to mind which I believe would help with projecting at a time like this. For those of us familiar with Bible stories (I’m an ardent believer), this would be a reminder to a popular one where I would start this post from.

A man had the opportunity of turning fortune around in his favour by agreeing with his father-in-law that he’d take only the streaked of the cattle the father-in-law had after a period of time. Funny enough, at the time of this agreement, the father-in-law from all perspectives was more likely to be better off. However, this man had a strategy. He used the power of pictures on the cattle. He positioned before the cattle in their moments of heat, when they drank, “pictures of streak” from the bark of trees. So that somehow when they reproduced, though they were not streaked, they had streaks. And he made sure he did this with the stronger of the cattle, and at the end of the agreed period, the streaked outnumbered the non-streaked.

Truth is, if we look at our lives now, we are either at or close to some of the pictures of what we saw of ourselves years back in our lives. I know some may say, "well no...", but if you are far from it, then you probably didn’t make that picture strong enough on your subconscious. Somehow we attract what we are, and we gradually become what we see or believe of ourselves over time.

My take on this, is to review what exactly we see and the sources of those pictures. These pictures which we see even with closed eyes could come from what we hear/listen to, what people say to us, what we read or even what we watch. You cannot desire to have red pictures in your mind and all you overwhelm yourself with are yellow pictures. You’ll get to a place where even when you see the red, you call it yellow. So if those sources are giving wrong pictures change or correct them as the case maybe.

Secondly, get those pictures of who you want to be where you want to be or go, or what you want to do always before you. A couple-friend recently shared with us their exercise on cutting out pictures close to what they want their future to be like and pasting it on a board they would see regularly. This idea I encourage greatly, because some of us, for so long have seen the exact opposite of what we want our future to be like and we need a paradigm shift. You could even start with the screen saver on your phone or computer.

Lastly, those figures when settled strongly in our subconcious to a large extent affect the decisions we make, what we attract or what we get attracted to. Infact, at some point we begin to say so much about it that others around us can identify us with them.

In essence, we need to make sure we receive the right pictures and we need to focus on them. The reality is that, if by natural standards we wouldn’t have been able to do much of accomplishing them, we would in a future not too far from now, see ourselves having achieved much. As I look forward to these last days into my next birthday, my major goal is to seek the greatest source of my future pictures for new/clearer pictures of my life. My challenge, as you also consider projecting, is with this question…What Do You See?

Life – A Relay Race

Right now, my mind is jam-packed with recent learnings which I intend to sort out gradually and share, so I have decided to post this learning from my archive. It helped me in making certain resolve.

Sometime ago, I observed and heard the stories of those who passed on and the effect on their immediate family. And it gave me concern.

At the time this thought flooded my mind, I wondered majorly about the financial challenge that may come with the passing away of the parent on the young ones. Worse still if were both parents at the same time. Would there have been enough in place for the children to survive and live on, especially with the standard they enjoyed in the lifetime of their parent? Would there have been someone mandated with the responsibility to administer these funds, if all kids were minors, in a fair, wise and proper way? Would every area of their lives be well cared for – emotional, psychological, physical? Is there any establishment in place now that handles this fully?

Some would say there are insurance companies and all, but besides financial re-imbursement to the next of kin, are they saddled with the responsibility of somewhat filling that parent’s shoes especially when there is no worthy family member to take charge?

Then I discussed this at small meeting and I came out with the understanding that there are certain things you need to pass on to your young ones/put in place now so as to keep your mind at rest. So that come what may, when they take the baton from you at the time you pass it on, they would run their race even better than you did yours.

Firstly is the finance bit. This cannot be underestimated - Savings, investments and property. Never assume any sum is too small to set aside. Little drops make an ocean. Be diligent, be consistent. Along with this, is letting your spouse, lawyer or trusted friend/family in on whatever is in place for them. An uncle once told me when I marketed a company’s shares to him that, he would rather focus on property, since his kids could sue tenants for non-payment of rent and not the management of a company for non-payment of dividends. Different schools of thoughts but I got something from his counsel.

Secondly, you must imbibe the right values in them. The first may be a tough call for some but this one costs only time and conscious effort. If they can’t stand for something, they’ll fall for anything. Let your kids know what you stand for. Let them also know those values would make them outstanding, with or without you. Values like integrity, loyalty, excellence, humility, fairness etc are being used in companies now so everyone is functioning with the same mindset to sustain the business and its brand, how much more a lineage?

Thirdly, the ability to make something out of nothing or increase whatever comes into their hands. This would help them turn those lemons life offers them to lemonade. It would also enable them appreciate their small beginnings ad maximize the little they have in hand for greater things.

Lastly, but definitely not the least is faith & hope in God. This assures them someone greater than man is on their side. It would let them know come what may, the best is yet to come and will surely come.

So as we pray for long life, let’s remember, life is a relay as we pass the baton on to the generations after. Know the colour of your baton and let them know what colour they are looking out for to run with when it’s their turn.

1st Anniversary + Straight From Les

It’s exactly a year and a day after FOOTSTEPS was launched. The anniversary coincides with my birthday. Now whenever I celebrate an additional year of my existence yearly, I can look at my articles and see what I’ve learnt, how much I’ve changed and how I have been a blessing to others. My birthday was yesterday and reflecting back, I felt more fulfilled despite having a number of things in the pipeline than some previous years.

I committed to sharing points I noted down from the last MTN innovation day where Les Brown featured as the guest/motivational speaker. Looking back I must confess it could have been only God who wanted me there, considering the fact that the urge to attend came that Friday morning. I registered for myself and some friends, but out of the 4 of us who wanted to be there I was the only one privileged to make it in eventually. I would therefore attempt to share now and probably in subsequent posts, those memoirs I picked at the meeting.

Thoughts become things

The starting point or drawing table of all we see now and even experience was a thought in our minds or the mind of someone else. So if you want something to happen or to be, then start to think about it and keep thinking about it. And in good time, it would materialize. The reverse is same, if you’re not interested in something, take it out of your thoughts before it comes to be.

You attract what you think of most

Still on thoughts, that which you attract – people, situations - is what you think of or brood over the most. For what we have so far is what we have attracted. If you’re wondering why certain people seem to surround you often or certain situations persist, you need to review first your highly placed thoughts, even the subconscious ones, and then make changes from there.

Focus on what you want not what you don’t want

I also learnt this from the Bible and “The Secret”. Focus rather on the positive side of something than the negative. For instance, the glass as half full than half empty; your early morning rush goal as –“ I need to make it in early” rather than “I don’t want to be late”; you health condition as, “I need to be better or healed” instead of “I am weak”. A good consolation is also in the fact that a positive thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative, so you can imagine the magnitude of results achievable with the right focus.

Though few, the points above can make significant difference in our lives if practised. I’ll stop here for now, with more in the sequel to this post but also challenge you to begin to think, think right and focus right.