Monthly BroadCast 2015 (3rd Quarter)

July 2015

I apologize for not sending out a note in June. My desire to bless will keep me going still.

In a discussion I had recently, my position on an issue was questioned. I believe the ease with which I was able to respond was tied to my personal conclusion on that topic long before it was raised. 

Another reason would be where my values along that line lie currently.

It's the 2nd half of the year, if anything, we want to be more deliberate. Now is the time to...

*Be decisive on our plans/grey areas
*Tap into support from the right people/sources to do this
*Be clear on our values and ensure they are the basis for those decisions/positions

...even long before they get questioned/challenged/tested.

Have a joy-filled July
Fondly from @FolaFayo


August 2015

So we continue with the second half of the year, trying to achieve our goals and accomplish feats. 

Sometimes however, the 'simple' daily routine seems so overwhelming, that we are unable to do anything extra towards those goals.

So that those goals don't stay untouched, my encouragement is to


*Start Small
*Stay consistent
*Share with Someone who will hold you accountable 

That book you want to read, cover a page today. And another tomorrow, and then again. That business you want to start, get more info about it then make one sale, and then another. 

Just keep that passion alive by keep on keeping on.

Have an Awesome August
Fondly from @ FolaFayo


September 2015

There are times when we probably wonder why something that is "important" to us isn't flourishing. Or maybe we ask ourselves why we aren't so upbeat about that "passion". 

Well I've been reminded recently that what we focus on grows. So maybe what we expect to do so well isn't, but definitely something else that has our focus is.

The challenge is to identify what has taken our attention and then try to switch it with what is more important to us. Our energies naturally flow to where our mind is, and the mind is filled with what we see / gaze on.

What are you beholding?

Have a special September 
Fondly from @FolaFayo

Even Cinderella Had Till Midnight

I’m sure many would understand what it is like to get an inspiration on something to share, but never really get around doing it. That is the case with this post. As time passed I’ve also had different ideas on how to title it, from ‘Yes the grass may just be greener on the other side, but the owner of the field probably has blisters’ to ‘It’s not going to come or stay that easy’. Finally I decided on this perhaps because it’s the most recent.

 

For all who recall the famous Cinderalla story, her wishes did come true (courtesy of her fairy godmother) but then could only hold till Midnight. ‘Cos in reality, wishes are limited. They could set us off on the course but we have more to do in reality. And this actually is the message I’ve carried in my mind for so long, with too many incidents hitting it home over and over again.

 

Life allows us very often the occasion to compare. To look over the fence and often just wish for the results and accomplishments of others, but very rarely the efforts that have been put in. It’s about time we go beyond that, and consciously move to being deliberate and purposeful about what we truly wouldn’t mind, what we really want in every area of life.

 

No relationship for example would blossom without being cared for. Be it with family, friends, colleagues or even God. It’s easy to watch others and desire the intimacy/rapport we see. But it wasn’t automatic for them. Choices were made, actions were deliberately taken that is why they enjoy what they have. Are you willing to be humble, to compromise for fairness, to serve, to give (hugs, kisses, time, encouragement and support or gifts), forgive offenses and even to pray? Are you ready to show courtesy, saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ at the right time and in the right way? So if you are fortunate to be married to a rare gem, you’ll need to brace yourself up more consciously for that gem to remain rare, even to you.

 

That child of yours is not going to be a believer in your faith, ideals and values just because you are. You need to make sure you walk the talk, in addition to teaching because that’s what kids know best. No school is going to make a genius out of your child (academically or in extra-curricular). Look out for the “outliers” in your child’s school, there’s definitely something different the folks are doing. What have you observed in your child? What have you done so far? Are you ready to motivate, encourage or pay an expert to coach to help him be the best he can be?

 

Yes you graduated the same year as that friend of yours. Probably you even got your great job months before he got his. How come he rarely complains of needing funds for personal things, he even just invested in another income generating opportunity. And he also gets to go on vacations to take a break now and then. Yet you don’t understand how your take home isn’t actually taking you home. You shouldn’t be wondering, instead ask questions, read books (e.g. the Richest man in Babylon, simple and practicable), make a plan, if possible get someone you can be accountable to, note your expenses and review it, save something as often as you can, invest in other streams of income…it won’t be easy but your grass will get greener.

 

The same applies to your health. How careful are you about what and when you eat? Don’t just sign up at that gym, get started. What of that skill/knowledge you gained a while back? It will only remain unproductive as long as you don’t upgrade or creatively apply it, even if voluntarily.

 

In all honesty, it’s difficult to push though on anything that doesn’t even mean anything to us. It’s tough to consciously study and learn about what we don’t value. Perhaps it’s a re-orientation that is required, to begin to value, and stop taking casually those things that really matter. But if for any reason, that relationship means the world to you, if your health should tell a different story in your lineage, if your child is indeed your treasure… by all means, go beyond wishing, become deliberate, even get the blisters because the sun and the rain would come and they will help guarantee the greenness of your field.

The Little Growths

It has been a while indeed and I really don’t know how to make up for the months of not posting an article. My sincere apologies, as 2 major events actually led to this and it took me longer than I could have imagined getting myself together. I lost my maternal grandma, who was so special and I was ill for weeks following this. In addition, like all other posts, I didn’t want to just put anything together, I wanted to be sure what I was sharing had been a learning point for me and would be for someone else. It is therefore elating for me to have something to share finally.

Over the period of being ill and then recuperating, I had put a stop to many activities I had been involved with both at home and on the business front. I needed help to get so many things done, and would ever be grateful for those who were there all through. However at some point, I became really bothered, wondering when every single thing would come back to normal again and I would be able to do much more than before. In other words, I was kind of dissatisfied and even a little frustrated. Then I came across a verse from one of my favourite books – “He who loves money shall never have enough…” and my eyes were opened to the insatiable state we could always find ourselves.

On another hand, I pondered the patience with which the farmer awaits the germination of his sown seeds, first the blade then the ear and later the harvest; the patience with which the nursing mother watches the growth of her newborn as he learns to sit up, crawl then walk. And in addition to this the many milestones she celebrates like when the crown of the first tooth is noticed. It made me realize how easy it is to get to that point in life where we tend ignore the signs of seemingly small positive changes; and it gave me concern that we fail to acknowledge the milestones achieved on the way to fulfilling those goals we have set for ourselves.

Another verse from the same book says simply – godliness with contentment is great gain. It somewhat describes contentment as a treasure, having some form of satisfaction as a form of wealth. I have learnt in essence that, even when we achieve some things we’ve always desired to the 100% mark, we tend to shortlive the period of satisfaction because we are already focusing on the more we can still do or have.

This is not about encouraging mediocrity. It’s about coming to terms with the little growths and increase, and learning to acknowledge some, compliment some and definitely celebrate some. It is not only a differentiating attitude, it is an enriching one.

So for me, am I doing all I was doing before yet? No, but am I doing somethings now which I couldn’t do when I was really ill? Yes, and for those ones, I give myself some passmark, while still forging ahead for more. For some of us, it may be with expected changes we desire in our children/spouse or staff? Have they come to the full picture? Maybe not, but have they made some adjustments towards the change? Most likely. It could be with respect to the goals we had set at the beginning of the year. Has this goal been fully ticked off? Maybe not; Are we where we were on it at the beginning of the year? Probably not.

We should be encouraged to support these growths or changes by acknowledging or complimenting or celebrating them…for those feelings of satisfaction/contentment in little levels of achievements go a long way in giving us some level of fulfillment in life.

Treasures from DLA

Sometime in March this year I was opportune to attend the Daystar Leadership Academy (DLA). It was the Basic Leadership Class. I had a fulfilling experience I must confess. Firstly, I had always wanted to do this, so having it ticked off my goal list was very satisfying and secondly because of the knowledge gained and the enriching networking opportunities.

As fulfilling as it was, it was a stretch program. There were rules to be followed, tests to be written and most especially mindsets to be changed. It took me incorporating early attendance (which was mandatory) with my regular morning school runs. We were taken on courses like Personal Transformation, Success Habits, Excellence Oriented Organization, Organisational Growth, Project Management, Systems Development, Family Success, Delegation Strategies amongst others.

An article on FOOTSTEPS would not be adequate to do justice to all I’ve learnt, but I would share some key ones in this post. I also encourage as many as can attend this Leadership/Management Program to do as well or any other recommended ones. If not for the certificate, it would be an opportunity to gather so much knowledge in a short time on leading people or an organization.

The first lesson that dawned on me at the beginning of the program was the essence of leadership. I learnt that there are many misconceptions about it which has somewhat resulted in the abuse of it over time and in many settings, from homes to organizations and the government.

It is not about titles, but about the tasks performed
It is not about status, but about service
It is not about consumption, but about contribution
It is not about cohesion, but ensuring cooperation
It is not about intimidation, but about inspiration
It is not about manipulation, but about motivation
It is not about lording over people, but loving people
It is not about being a celebrity, but a role of responsibility

In other words, if you are performing relevant/key tasks, serving sincerely, contributing valuably, enhancing cooperation in a team and inspiring or motivating some person other than yourself, if you never knew it before, you have been leading. I for one, used to think (while I worked) that since the organization’s organogram didn’t place me in a “specific - titled” role, then I wasn’t being challenged to develop my leadership potentials and couldn’t give so much as a leader. However, I discovered that in the capacity with which I had somewhat influenced individuals, junior colleagues, peers and teams towards the achievement of a goal, I had served as a leader.

Another lesson I took away from the program, is that SUCCESS IS WHO YOU ARE. In essence, your nature determines the success that can be achieved. It is not merely in the doing but in being. That is why sometimes we see some people whose status or achievement we covet, and the first thing we try to do to succeed like they have is just copy exactly what they do. This often leads to frustration in the long term because we are somewhat working against our nature.

To do something you have never done before, you must become someone you have never being before. The first point of call is changing or developing your person, and then the doing will automatically follow. More often than not, your person is tied to your mindsets; for the journey from grass to grace is an Internal Trip. The challenge here is to so work on your inside, challenge and correct those wrong or limiting mindsets, discover truths, develop your mind, that your outside would be struggling to catch up with it. Even if the outside isn’t changing in the short term, in good time, it will align.

The last but definitely not the least of all my take-aways is the bit on Self Improvement under the Success Habit Course. I am a freak, fanatic, stickler (what other vocabulary is there?) for personal development. I believe in becoming a better you and not settling for the status quo, challenging yourself continually. So it was quite interesting to learn more on this. One of the major activities on self improvement is reading /studying. Earl Nightingale said many years ago that “one hour per day of study in your chosen field was all it takes. One hour per day of study will put you at the top of your field within three years. Within five years you’ll be a national authority. In seven years, you can be one of the best people in the world at what you do”. The tasks with this are to identify that area you want to be good at and then develop the staying power to keep at it. I study an average of 7hours/week now, but on different interests. However, I intend to pick my area of passion and make sure, I top up on it regularly.

On a final note, to gather information is great, but to do with what-you-know is greater. I have tried to instill a practice of noting down action points from every book I read and training program I attend. The fewer they are the better and with deadlines. That way I can experience immediate value from a learning. I encourage you on this, as well as the pearls I have shared. On our own we may not be able, but definitely with God we can.

Not By Chance

It is another election season in Nigeria, and batons will change hands afterward. Many are trying to position themselves or their own to take an office, from the Local Government to the Presidency. Parties are strategizing, meetings are being held, money is being raised and spent on campaigns, and activities are gathering momentum for the final lap in this race. The point where every eligible man will cast his vote according to his conviction, whether based on information and understanding or coercion, men will vote and the winners will be declared, sworn in for another season of service. Well for me, I see it as service, though I know many aren’t aware that leadership is really about this.

One interesting part of this current period for me has been the debates. I was present at one, and I have watched a few as well. It has to some extent brought up revelations about the candidates from levels of competence to extent of preparedness in taking the office they are vying for, from temperaments to their thoughts on issue resolution. One of those debates which I am yet to watch though is the Youth Representative debate. It was interesting when I learnt about this, particularly because I knew 2 of the participants who would be representing different parties.

I wasn’t surprised about Adeolu Akinyemi because I’m a little privy to his political affiliation and commitments. However, my initial feeling on Uche Chuta was of shock. I kept saying I know this guy, I know this guy… but is he politically inclined? And then a memory flashed back as the thought stayed with me, it was a confirmation of how our yesterday has an impact on today.

Way back in our elementary days we were all pals, as we lived in the same company estate though we attended different schools. So when some of us represented our schools at different times in the regular inter-school debate on national television, it was easy to note one another. I recall Uche was one of his school's representatives at a debate.Thinking through Uche participating in this current debate, though we had lost touch since we all moved and I didn’t know what he was up to, I settled to the fact that the debate of yesterday was not by chance.

When we look at our lives now and reminisce on our yesterday, to a large extent we’ll all be able to match certain decisions we made and events that occurred then to others that have shown up in our today. For example I had had an ambition to be a fashion designer and used to make lots of sketches as a kid. This wasn’t particularly nurtured as I grew up so it went to sleep, as I took on Architecture then Human Resources but it has however re-surfaced, as couture is one of the services I offer now.

The truth is, these seeming awakenings or repetitions are also not by chance. Somehow those of the past, though they appeared to have occurred randomly, revealed our abilities or prepared us for now. They were yesterday’s seeds whose fruit we now see. The learning point however is that, we can also tie our today to our tomorrow. We can to a good extent determine or predict tomorrow’s fruit by the seed we sow now, the decisions we make now, the exposure we get, the trainings we give ourselves, the relationships we keep, the way we manage our finance and of course what we say “yes” or “no” to.

If we have an idea of what we would like for the future we need to work back from tomorrow and live today more consciously. I will….will you?

Think Global, Be Global

It’s another year end, just less than 2 weeks to a new one. And this is wishing everyone great compliments of the season. I know it’s been an eventful year for all with its ups and downs, the high times and the low, but I know more assuredly that it has endowed us all with lessons and discoveries like no other year. Let me use this opportunity to ask any who is willing to share any of theirs to please send me a mail (bukolaogunfayo@gmail.com) and we can have others read and keep to guide and to encourage.

It is a good time in the year to reflect, to review goals, especially in anticipation of other opportunities in the New Year. It is an appropriate time to be grateful too, thankful to the One beyond man who has kept and preserved. I’m sure if we think well, we’ll have a number of things to give thanks for, starting with the gift of life.

For me, 2010 has been quite eventful. For instance, I was able to share regularly on FOOTSTEPS (this means a lot to me), I took a bow to paid employment, I got certified & inducted as an HR Professional and on another extreme, took on a skill in fashion. I can imagine what awaits me in 2011. However, I’m going to take my plans from a different angle this time around, which I believe some would need as well.

Sometime in November, I attended a conference in Lagos. I am very keen on personal development; in fact, I do plan to contribute significantly to the Education Sector sometime in the nearest future, which is what drove me to sit at the Syndicate session on Education. Amongst other things shared, one thing I took away from this meeting was a comment by the Speaker – Mrs. Susan Oyemade, “…you have to be a global teacher, you have to be a global pupil, you have to be a global housewife...” In other words, whatever you have decided to pursue, you need to do it with the world at large in mind, you need to think beyond the local environment, and you need to set a global standard (“world-class, as used in many circles) for yourself.

For a teacher, that’s an easy one. The delivery styles and the contents of the course material for instance need to be worked on, but one would wonder, how can a housewife be global? Well, what recipes is she working on in her food lab (kitchen), the same old ones with the same styles and the same ingredients? What looks does she have on the few times she’s out of the house for a school function or an outing with her husband? While one ponders on this, one has to agree there is room for everyone to think global and to be global.

As we come to another season where we strategize for another year of our lives, we need to ask ourselves what our peers on the global scene are doing better. What are they using to make their work different that we can acquire; what skill have they gained that we can learn, who have they connected with to help them be all they are now, that we need to consider networking with as well (for this we could get their peers in our vicinity). Whichever way, something new and/or something different needs to be worked into our norm to position us globally.

A few, may just actually be ahead of their peers globally already. In Performance Management we refer to them as operating on the Exceed Expectation rating. These ones need to up the stakes, look at their superiors, whose standard they now need to work towards.

I don’t know what we all may have in mind for 2011, but as I challenge myself, I leave this challenge with you, position yourself to become GLOBAL.

An Enabling Environment

I was opportune to revise with my daughter for her end of year’s exams sometime last month. One of the subjects for her class, General Knowledge covered a bit on Agriculture basics – types of soil. We studied the 3 major types (Clayey, Loamy and Sandy) and their uses. Just like most of us were taught way-back then, Loamy is the preferred for planting. It’s not that the others can’t allow for some form of growth, but definitely not anything good compared with what the loamy would do.

In the same month, there was an e-mail forward I came across, about a Nigerian family in Britain who had kids that were performing outstandingly beyond what their ages could ordinarily accomplish in academics. My colleagues and I discussed this seemingly chance happening but the consensus was that their being in Britain, in such schools and with such tutors, brought out the best in them.

These facts buttressed a learning - We thrive best in an enabling environment. Our potentials, our dreams, our plans are actualized best when we are located in an enabling environment; like a plant in the appropriate soil. A common saying I used to know goes like this – Apple trees don’t grow in Lagos. That means, there is place for everyone to come out in full bloom. My take on this is this - make sure you are located in your soil (your enabling environment).

However, beyond the physical environment, there is the mind-environment and association-environment. These as well must be supportive. To a great extent we even have better influence on them than even the physical. We can choose what goes on in our mind by what we feed it with and what people influence us by the choice of our confidants and friends.

A challenge then, could be in knowing when we are not in an environment that would be supportive to our potentials/dreams/aspirations. Also, when we are not and cannot move for some reasons, what we need to do.

In more advanced agriculture, each type of soil still has further classifications. Good farmers know which of these would give the best harvest for each crop. But first, they must know which crop they intend to cultivate. Same with us, the crop could be our dream, our plan or our potential. A previous article (Be Better, Know your SWOT -

www.folafayo.blogspot.com ) encourages us to know our strengths, for therein lies our potentials. When we know our crop, it would be easy to tell if the soil would aid growth and productivity. If I dream to be an Olympics medalist in swimming, and there is no pool within my reach, that dream is likely to remain a dream. It’s either I travel regularly to where one is or I re-locate close to one. My challenge on this is for you to note your plans, begin to dream, discover your potential, then you can tell if where you are would help actualize them. If your environment won’t be enabling, then move.

There may be instances when we feel the timing or some other reasons won’t allow us move to our preferred physical environment. What do we do while we wait? We must keep our mind and association environment in top gear. In other words, these two must be “fertilizing” to our plans, dreams or potentials. Just like some fertilizers can be used to enhance the ability of the soil when not good enough.

The state of your mind must become conditioned to bring you to thrive. You need to feed it with information that would motivate and inspire. You can learn to shut out negatives by focusing more on what is positive and what you desire to be. For associations, we need to minimize interactions with those who put us down, who laugh at our dreams and spend more time with those of like minds, those who make us think beyond where we are to what we can become.

We need to get the environment right (mind and association included) to keep energies up, passions alive, focus strong, till we come to full bloom and achieve.

Be better, know your SWOT

Over time, I’ve come to identify a passion for continuous development. I believe what makes you different now from how you were a while ago is how much and how well you have grown. I like to assess myself and those around me to ascertain if growth has occurred. For those who know me personally, I tend to challenge the status quo now and then… asking, can it be better? How else can it be done?

A few years back, I discovered the S.W.O.T analysis is not only meant for businesses. For continual and personal development, it’s an exercise we need to carry out periodically. It would help us appreciate our growth and strategize for further growth, in addition to increasing productivity.

S.W.O.T (for those not familiar with it) is the acronym for Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. In carrying out the analysis therefore, we assess ourselves on what we are good at, what we aren’t so good at (or not good at) and what is available to make us better or posing as a danger in our lives.

Due to our backgrounds, experiences, exposures and of course personalities, we have developed certain abilities that come naturally and easy to perform. Some can make something out of nothing, some can create a beauty out of a beast, some can sell an AC unit to an Eskimo, some can remember details or even memorize a 15-digit number. However strengths don’t have to be those genius-kind-of abilities alone, it could even be as simple as being able to cheer up someone (which I don’t think is simple anyway). The challenge is to appreciate the strength and keep it consistent.

Just as strengths come easy, so do weaknesses. In fact we tend to struggle more with weaknesses. Uncontrollable emotions, indiscipline (with self and resources) and many more are things we need to know early enough and begin to work on so it doesn’t deter our progress or even affect any aspect of our lives. I’ve started to use the term “gap” instead as it simply makes me know these are things that must be closed or resolved or brought to the barest minimum for my good and others as well.

While pondering over the SWOT, I’ve learnt that we can only know Opportunities and Threats when we have set certain goals and aspirations for ourselves. So for instance, if my plan is to become the head of a department in a particular function and I know I need some experience in a unit in the department, a vacancy in that unit for my level of skill is an Opportunity. On the other hand, if I discover the organization is making plans to restructure in such a way as to move me to a different role and department, to my career goal, that becomes a Threat.

Some threats however don’t always come looking negative, however when compared with our ultimate goal it becomes clear it would only serve to deter. There is therefore nothing as good as being able to identify an opportunity when it comes especially when one is prepared for it and keys into it. Same thing for being able to spot a threat on time, strategize and quickly deal with it.

A good way to get to know your strengths and weaknesses is with sincere feedback from those around you. I got a book recently and passed it round some friends to help me by asking them to state what I need to be consistent in and what gaps I need to close. On the opportunities and threats, I am constantly reviewing my goals, so it’s engraved in my sub-conscious and can set off alarms for both when they occur. I therefore encourage – know your SWOT, to grow, to be better or to be a step ahead.

Define Success for Yourself

I was able to take a short break from work recently and made a discovery that now means so much to me. By the way, a break is something I strongly recommend. Amongst other benefits, it also affords you the opportunity to take a step out of your regular routine to appreciate your life from a different angle and of course get better refreshed to continue. For me, I was opportune to meditate (when my kids were off my sensory range) on what Success meant to me.

I’ve come to realize that Success actually means different things to different people. Even for each individual, the phase of life one is in, the experience one is going through also determine what success is. However, most of us tie it to the achievement of goals alone. For a child in elementary school, success is probably about going home with a report that makes mum and dad smile. For another in college, it may be beyond just making the parent smile at graduation to making an excellent grade above peers. And then it goes on to getting a wonderful job, getting recognized as a star performer at work or winning the contract as a business owner.

Truth is when we achieve those goals, we do feel good, but not long after that, we’re pursuing something else. On the other extreme, we never really define it for ourselves. We let what others have defined it to be to determine how we rate ourselves on the ‘success-o-meter’. So there could be someone who feels good enough about being a size 12, but because others feel a size 8 or 10 has a better figure, she begins to feel less “successful” and then goes through so much to be a success by their definition.

For a long time, I have quietly asked myself what it would take for me to eventually feel confident as successful but the period of reflection I had during my leave settled it. It’s the concept behind what it means that really matters. Now, 2 simple words if met at any point in my life would tell me clearly that “Olubukola Ogunfayo, you are a Success”. In Performance Management, we call those words – Key Performance Indicators. They are COMFORT and RELEVANCE.

Yes, I know some may say comfort is relative, relevance is time-bound; but to me comfort would be ease of getting what I need or want at anytime and relevance, being critical at all times. Now what this has done for me is to make me easily assess how close I am to my Success target or rate my success level. I have taken time to review different areas of my life – Faith, Marriage, Work etc on how comfortable and relevant I am.

I have also decided on certain actions I will take, goals with timelines I need to set, identified resources I must get that would make achieve both in these areas. I will not trade one for another because both need to be there for me to feel successful.

My counsel on this is for everyone to know exactly what makes them feel successful. We need to be able to identify our success level at every point in life so we can comfortably say we have become success stories despite how others may feel. I have found mine, have you?

What Do You See?

April is an anniversary month for me and FOOTSTEPS. I’m a year older on exactly the last day of the month and it would be about 2 years of blogging. For me, anniversaries are worthy of reflections and celebration. This is majorly because one needs to be glad to be alive to see another one, and for progress since the last one (as there should have been, even if small). So truly, I feel blessed to be adding another year to my age and this blog, to look back between now and the last, and appreciate the growth so far.

In as much as I see the need to reflect at anniversaries, it is also a good time to project to where we want to be, like organizations do at their Year End Strategy Sessions, . Lately, an old learning has been coming to mind which I believe would help with projecting at a time like this. For those of us familiar with Bible stories (I’m an ardent believer), this would be a reminder to a popular one where I would start this post from.

A man had the opportunity of turning fortune around in his favour by agreeing with his father-in-law that he’d take only the streaked of the cattle the father-in-law had after a period of time. Funny enough, at the time of this agreement, the father-in-law from all perspectives was more likely to be better off. However, this man had a strategy. He used the power of pictures on the cattle. He positioned before the cattle in their moments of heat, when they drank, “pictures of streak” from the bark of trees. So that somehow when they reproduced, though they were not streaked, they had streaks. And he made sure he did this with the stronger of the cattle, and at the end of the agreed period, the streaked outnumbered the non-streaked.

Truth is, if we look at our lives now, we are either at or close to some of the pictures of what we saw of ourselves years back in our lives. I know some may say, "well no...", but if you are far from it, then you probably didn’t make that picture strong enough on your subconscious. Somehow we attract what we are, and we gradually become what we see or believe of ourselves over time.

My take on this, is to review what exactly we see and the sources of those pictures. These pictures which we see even with closed eyes could come from what we hear/listen to, what people say to us, what we read or even what we watch. You cannot desire to have red pictures in your mind and all you overwhelm yourself with are yellow pictures. You’ll get to a place where even when you see the red, you call it yellow. So if those sources are giving wrong pictures change or correct them as the case maybe.

Secondly, get those pictures of who you want to be where you want to be or go, or what you want to do always before you. A couple-friend recently shared with us their exercise on cutting out pictures close to what they want their future to be like and pasting it on a board they would see regularly. This idea I encourage greatly, because some of us, for so long have seen the exact opposite of what we want our future to be like and we need a paradigm shift. You could even start with the screen saver on your phone or computer.

Lastly, those figures when settled strongly in our subconcious to a large extent affect the decisions we make, what we attract or what we get attracted to. Infact, at some point we begin to say so much about it that others around us can identify us with them.

In essence, we need to make sure we receive the right pictures and we need to focus on them. The reality is that, if by natural standards we wouldn’t have been able to do much of accomplishing them, we would in a future not too far from now, see ourselves having achieved much. As I look forward to these last days into my next birthday, my major goal is to seek the greatest source of my future pictures for new/clearer pictures of my life. My challenge, as you also consider projecting, is with this question…What Do You See?

Life – A Relay Race

Right now, my mind is jam-packed with recent learnings which I intend to sort out gradually and share, so I have decided to post this learning from my archive. It helped me in making certain resolve.

Sometime ago, I observed and heard the stories of those who passed on and the effect on their immediate family. And it gave me concern.

At the time this thought flooded my mind, I wondered majorly about the financial challenge that may come with the passing away of the parent on the young ones. Worse still if were both parents at the same time. Would there have been enough in place for the children to survive and live on, especially with the standard they enjoyed in the lifetime of their parent? Would there have been someone mandated with the responsibility to administer these funds, if all kids were minors, in a fair, wise and proper way? Would every area of their lives be well cared for – emotional, psychological, physical? Is there any establishment in place now that handles this fully?

Some would say there are insurance companies and all, but besides financial re-imbursement to the next of kin, are they saddled with the responsibility of somewhat filling that parent’s shoes especially when there is no worthy family member to take charge?

Then I discussed this at small meeting and I came out with the understanding that there are certain things you need to pass on to your young ones/put in place now so as to keep your mind at rest. So that come what may, when they take the baton from you at the time you pass it on, they would run their race even better than you did yours.

Firstly is the finance bit. This cannot be underestimated - Savings, investments and property. Never assume any sum is too small to set aside. Little drops make an ocean. Be diligent, be consistent. Along with this, is letting your spouse, lawyer or trusted friend/family in on whatever is in place for them. An uncle once told me when I marketed a company’s shares to him that, he would rather focus on property, since his kids could sue tenants for non-payment of rent and not the management of a company for non-payment of dividends. Different schools of thoughts but I got something from his counsel.

Secondly, you must imbibe the right values in them. The first may be a tough call for some but this one costs only time and conscious effort. If they can’t stand for something, they’ll fall for anything. Let your kids know what you stand for. Let them also know those values would make them outstanding, with or without you. Values like integrity, loyalty, excellence, humility, fairness etc are being used in companies now so everyone is functioning with the same mindset to sustain the business and its brand, how much more a lineage?

Thirdly, the ability to make something out of nothing or increase whatever comes into their hands. This would help them turn those lemons life offers them to lemonade. It would also enable them appreciate their small beginnings ad maximize the little they have in hand for greater things.

Lastly, but definitely not the least is faith & hope in God. This assures them someone greater than man is on their side. It would let them know come what may, the best is yet to come and will surely come.

So as we pray for long life, let’s remember, life is a relay as we pass the baton on to the generations after. Know the colour of your baton and let them know what colour they are looking out for to run with when it’s their turn.

Get Ready, Set...

In 1999, my fellowship in the University used this theme – “Get ready” for our annual conference ahead of the entry into the new millennium. I still remember a part of the song as I write this and the other memories. However I think we should have taken a cue from that meeting that not only into a new millennium must one get ready but at all times like the boys scout motto.

When the recently concluded Project Fame Reality show sponsored by MTN was about rounding off, I just thought to myself, it is not possible these guys woke up one day and started singing. They didn’t just walk to the audition centers to take a chance at it, truth is, they must have been singing before then. Some might have been in some choir or group before they took on the opportunity, some might have been singing in their bathroom or miming some of their favourite artistes’ songs in their rooms with a comb as the microphone, but one thing is for sure, they were doing some form of singing before Project Fame came by. Trust me, those who seem to have gained popularity today were once in “oblivion” getting ready.

On the reverse, we had an incidence recently of testing a driver for a job opportunity and my goodness I wondered if he really was ever a driver. His excuse – he had not driven for 6 months and wasn’t used to an Automatic Gear System. But this is supposed to be the skill he exchanges for income, why wasn’t he prepared?

Many of us have different things we aspire for ourselves in life depending on the phase we are in. it could be getting married, getting a particular job, winning a talent show, winning an election, becoming a public speaker and motivating people, starting a business and so many others I have not listed; but beyond aspiring what are you doing ahead of that opportunity coming up? Some people call it luck, but what would one call preparedness meeting an opportunity, I think it is more than luck.

My resolution therefore and challenge is this, don’t wait till that opportunity comes before you go for it, you may not be up to standard since you have not prepared yourself or rehearsed for it; start going for it now. Find out from others who have got there or made it, read books on it, surf the net for related information, learn the new model of that technology, start dressing like it (if you can), talking like it, get that proposal ready, volunteer to learn beside someone, offer to show your skill (without pay if possible)…whatever you need to do, just be on your marks, get ready, to go.

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in a sudden
flight; but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the
night.”

Sacrifice then Ceremony

I'm not too glad about letting the month of March pass without posting another article, I really wanted to but just didn’t get to make that time out to. However, I will consciously work on that.

About two months ago, I was at the peak of preparing for the final diet of my professional exams, that was when this learning, or discovery more like it, dawned on me. It was actually a challenging phase. Let me simply call it “sacrifice” because truly I did lay down a lot of preferences just to re-prioritize and work towards the final lap well.

It was at this phase that every second in transit to places counted, because I was running with set goals to cover as many chapters as I could in my study pack. On the way to work, on the way from, in the vehicle, as long as it was well lit, I was studying. Weekends, were another level, I woke up early enough to study in the wee hours before the house was bustling with life especially my kids, when everyone took time to chill watching TV, I had to separate myself to study even more. The last few days off work just before the exam was something else, my time table wa 2/3 hours study periods covering about 7-9 hours per day from 6.30am, with 2/3 hours break in between the periods. I sacrificed. I got novels, magazines and motivational books, which I couldn’t read. I heard about movies from JENIFA to Slumdog Millionaire but couldn’t go near.

All the same, I encouraged myself with these words of comfort, this phase will pass, and then I will celebrate and there’ll be a ceremony - of liberty and especially success. And surely after the final paper that Saturday afternoon, I celebrated. I went with my dad and daughter to watch Bolt at the cinema.

Then I looked into other areas of life, for you to really enjoy a ceremony, some sacrifice would have been made, e.g. preparing for a degree exam to be better qualified and have good chances to earn more, preparing for a wedding to tie the knot with that loved one, starting your business to generate more income, preparing your child every morning for school to become educated, exercising to lose some weight and be in shape, even if it as little as getting yourself to a ceremony venue. Some sacrifice, then ceremeony.

My final word then is this, do you feel so pressed at this time, not enjoying what you’d have loved to, pushing yourself the extra mile to get that dream fulfilled, then be encouraged, not long from this sacrifice stage, your ceremony cometh.

Plot Your Route

During one of our last vacations in the UK, we had to get to an uncle’s place by taking a cab. We had never been to this place before but were not so much concerned about missing our way because our hosts had made us understand that most if not all cabs had the Navigator (Satellite/GPRS). They also had one in their car as well.

To use the navigator one just had to specify the destination point and the starting point and it automatically plotted the route. In addition it would guide the user on where to turn to the left or the right, how long the distance would be before making another turn or coming to a stop.

In understanding how it works, one just needs to note that some major landmarks and geographic points had been identified in reality, for which the Navigator identifies & links via a satellite while mapping routes. And it is based on these that it plots the desirable routes.

So I ask, do you have a Navigator in place as we start this new year. Have you identified your destination in different areas of your life, have you identified major landmarks? For those who have and are even used to that annual habit I have a learning to share. For those who haven’t yet, I challenge you – take time out, reflect on where you are, where you want to be and write down those goals or dreams you desire to accomplish in this year.

Yes, write them down. It is not enough to know it in your heart, you need to write it down, so you can have a guide in place and also a list to tick off. Writing down helps you know when that opportunity comes knocking since you’ve identified what it is you want. You may want to look at different sub-headings – Spiritual, Marriage/Relationship, Family and Children, Academic/Career/Business and others.

My recent learning on goal setting which I hope to make a habit this year, however, is regular review. You just have to continue to see that thing, to desire it, to have it. That’s an advertising secret. It may not be enough to write it down and check it out at the end of the year, you need to go back to it, look at it regularly, add to it or take from it as the case may be and consciously put in place the necessary to accomplish it.

I have my Navigator already working, do you?