Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

I was about stepping out of the house a couple of weeks back and like most of us do, decided to check myself out. Truly a mirror check of one's self is not all about vanity.

It's easy to smile now, especially because the 'disaster' did not happen. It was one of those bad-hair days and I’d chosen to use a scarf. A convenient bail out on days like that, but must also be well done to avoid 'stories that touch'...lol. I probably felt it wasn't my first time and could tie it without looking into a mirror. But that last look, that last minute of saying, “...mirror, mirror on the wall, am I as fair as I should be today?” was my saving moment. I'd tied it all wrong, with parts that shouldn't be revealed peeping out. Laughing at myself, I touched it up here and there, and dashed out.

I'm sure many of us have had similar experiences too, from wearing our shirts inside out, buttoning them all wrong, mismatching accessories or discovering food stuck on our teeth. This one left me with deeper thoughts on how important mirrors are. If we'll only be true to what we see and make appropriate touch ups, many disastrous images or wrong representations of who we are would be corrected just at the right time. For physical looks, I’m sure many ladies reading this, would be like....come on, I carry a mirror around, and take a quick peep at every reflecting metal I pass. However, this goes beyond the physical.

God has been kind enough to bless us with people around us, who could serve as mirrors. To help us with feedback on how we look, how we do, how we talk, how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves. Yes I know, some give these feedback in discouraging ways, at the wrong time and some even without being asked. The issue really is what we do with the reflections from these people-mirrors. Do we ignore? Are we humble enough to receive them and eventually make attempts to touch up? Or are we surrounded by people who tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to?

Bible readers are familiar with the scripture that talks about a man looking at himself in the mirror, and forgetting what he looks like afterwards. This verse not only helps us see our need to have the Word of God also as mirror for our lives, but encourages us to do something about what we see. It's either you're confident after looking into it to continue in the good graces. Or you are clearer on the gaps in certain life areas that need to be worked on - health, finance or relationships.

Let me  include the need for us to strike a balance with this. Some feedback or counsel will not be true, or in our best interest. Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Les Brown and many others became success stories despite the negative things they had been told. They were not deterred from their personal convictions on who they were or what they could do. For this I’ll say don't gaze too long into bad mirrors.

As I conclude, it is good to open up more to feedback, be more sincere with ourselves, and make efforts to improve. I also leave us with the challenge to be true mirrors for others. Not like those funny mirrors at fairs that give distorted images of a fatter, shorter, thinner version of the object but those giving accurate reflections. Our feedback should propel change, boost morale... as we speak the truth, even in love.

Even Cinderella Had Till Midnight

I’m sure many would understand what it is like to get an inspiration on something to share, but never really get around doing it. That is the case with this post. As time passed I’ve also had different ideas on how to title it, from ‘Yes the grass may just be greener on the other side, but the owner of the field probably has blisters’ to ‘It’s not going to come or stay that easy’. Finally I decided on this perhaps because it’s the most recent.

 

For all who recall the famous Cinderalla story, her wishes did come true (courtesy of her fairy godmother) but then could only hold till Midnight. ‘Cos in reality, wishes are limited. They could set us off on the course but we have more to do in reality. And this actually is the message I’ve carried in my mind for so long, with too many incidents hitting it home over and over again.

 

Life allows us very often the occasion to compare. To look over the fence and often just wish for the results and accomplishments of others, but very rarely the efforts that have been put in. It’s about time we go beyond that, and consciously move to being deliberate and purposeful about what we truly wouldn’t mind, what we really want in every area of life.

 

No relationship for example would blossom without being cared for. Be it with family, friends, colleagues or even God. It’s easy to watch others and desire the intimacy/rapport we see. But it wasn’t automatic for them. Choices were made, actions were deliberately taken that is why they enjoy what they have. Are you willing to be humble, to compromise for fairness, to serve, to give (hugs, kisses, time, encouragement and support or gifts), forgive offenses and even to pray? Are you ready to show courtesy, saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ at the right time and in the right way? So if you are fortunate to be married to a rare gem, you’ll need to brace yourself up more consciously for that gem to remain rare, even to you.

 

That child of yours is not going to be a believer in your faith, ideals and values just because you are. You need to make sure you walk the talk, in addition to teaching because that’s what kids know best. No school is going to make a genius out of your child (academically or in extra-curricular). Look out for the “outliers” in your child’s school, there’s definitely something different the folks are doing. What have you observed in your child? What have you done so far? Are you ready to motivate, encourage or pay an expert to coach to help him be the best he can be?

 

Yes you graduated the same year as that friend of yours. Probably you even got your great job months before he got his. How come he rarely complains of needing funds for personal things, he even just invested in another income generating opportunity. And he also gets to go on vacations to take a break now and then. Yet you don’t understand how your take home isn’t actually taking you home. You shouldn’t be wondering, instead ask questions, read books (e.g. the Richest man in Babylon, simple and practicable), make a plan, if possible get someone you can be accountable to, note your expenses and review it, save something as often as you can, invest in other streams of income…it won’t be easy but your grass will get greener.

 

The same applies to your health. How careful are you about what and when you eat? Don’t just sign up at that gym, get started. What of that skill/knowledge you gained a while back? It will only remain unproductive as long as you don’t upgrade or creatively apply it, even if voluntarily.

 

In all honesty, it’s difficult to push though on anything that doesn’t even mean anything to us. It’s tough to consciously study and learn about what we don’t value. Perhaps it’s a re-orientation that is required, to begin to value, and stop taking casually those things that really matter. But if for any reason, that relationship means the world to you, if your health should tell a different story in your lineage, if your child is indeed your treasure… by all means, go beyond wishing, become deliberate, even get the blisters because the sun and the rain would come and they will help guarantee the greenness of your field.

Don't Lose The Reason Why

Indeed there would be times in our relationships especially marriages when we ask ourselves - what exactly was the reason or purpose for this? Situations could come up to question why you even went far enough to say "I Do".

I believe God must have been touched by my musings on this, cos I was led to the popular scripture in Ecclesiastes...

Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much betterIf one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he's in troubleAlso on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone?And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; Three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken(Chapter6 v 9-12 TLB)

Rewind back to Gen 2v18... And the Lord said..'It isn't good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs'

Yes, scripture is our life manual, and definitely the best source for solutions on any issue and answers to questions we have. There are many other references to marriage aside these, but for now I would stay on these.

So here's my encouragement, when those thoughts come, remember...

1. Companionship is good and God had this in mind. In this relationship, you have a friend to talk to, someone to spend time with, share life with and all the blessings that come with it.

2. Man, she is your helper, suited to meet your needs. Equipped to, if you'll allow her.

3. Woman, you are his helper. With you, he is even better off.

4. Together, you accomplish more. Your results on things done jointly are way better.

5. Somehow, most times, you are not both down at the same time. So that the one up can support the one down to stand again. Many times you don't see things the same way, so that you can both share different perspectives on an issue for a more balanced position and decision. (When this happens with us, my hubby and I call each other 'check and balance')

6. A cold night, cozy under the blanket...nothing like a great love making to the one you're committed to and who is committed to you. You have the right to legit romance and passion, no rush, no guilt, no shame.

7. Back to back, that's your warfare position...you've got his/hers, he's/she's got yours.

8. The ultimate, ultimate...when the one who established it is involved, God Himself; as foundation, as wall around, as light by day and fire by night....it is guaranteed, destiny would be fulfilled, your Canaan would be reached and possessed.

To conclude on this, just recently I read some articles that further inspired me, so try to...

9. Remember those special things about him/ her that you fell in love with; that made your eyes so single (and focused back then) and your body full of light. That's why it is him/her not another. Remind him/her about these things.

10. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. So you don't fall into the error of abuse, thankfully re-commit to God. He has a way of restoring the specific sense of purpose of our marriages and the flame so many cares have started to almost blow out.

At His Feet,
Fola''Fayo

Bobby Jones Also Taught Me...

In my last post, I was able to share 3 of the lessons I took away from the movie on the life of Bobby Jones. Should I say in another way, lessons he taught me, even though we never met. This is often the case in life though, further enhanced by technology, the internet and social media. People we have never met and would never meet are influencing us and we them. More people can watch you, more can listen to you, more can read from you..., so what information are you sharing, what lessons are you teaching?



As Bobby grew older, he got involved in informal plays and then competitions. People began to notice him more, especially because he was so young compared to those he played with. On one of his trips at the early stages of his exposure to the limelight he said "I don't think I want to be famous...I just want to play". That definitely challenged me. One may say, he was just a kid, what did he know. But then, approaching life from a kid's perspective...innocent and pure (even in motivation) is usually a healthy approach. He saw what he did and was more into it for the fun he derived, he thoroughly enjoyed himself. That was why it turned out so differently for him. Later in life, he said again, 'once you play for money, you can't call it amateur'; he preferred to be referred to as an amateur. I like to use the word passion to describe this. I feel it's a differentiating factor and also a sustaining one. What you do now, is it fun? Do you enjoy it? If you never got a dime or recognition for it, would you continue all the same?... mhh, time will tell.



At one of the opens he played in, Bobby reported an infraction which set him back in the game and eventually affected his win. At that point, he displayed the height of sportsmanship. He was more concerned about doing it right than winning. We also do get to those points in life, when we have to make tough choices. Do we choose to show integrity or win (knowing, we've broken the rules)? If we become so overtaken by the sense of always competing, always wanting to be the first or the only ones achieving some feats, it's so easy to fall into this error. Sometimes never learning the rules (but then ignorance is no excuse), or knowing them and never truly valuing them. In addition to the dent to one's name or personality, what's the use of breasting the tapes and then getting disqualified for running so wrong? On the long run, truth, sincerity and fairplay always win. Some famous personalities especially athletes have suffered falls from this too....if only they had known. Learn the rules, play by it, sometimes it hurts, but then it pays.



Bobby played more, won more, and became very famous. This involved traveling more, practicing more...it started to tell on his health, and even on his marriage. Tell -tale signs were blinking red lights...and then he stopped. He retired. He stepped out of competitions. Simply putting it, he knew when to stop. This is another challenge all of us face. The question 'when will you stop?' Or 'when will you say no'. If we get carried away by fame, always putting up a show, always being there, or perhaps the idea that without us, some things will never be, then we allow the more important aspects of our lives to deteriorate, and we eventually lose out. Watch your relationships, watch your health; those are usually the first to give warning signs. Do not take them for granted, besides, it's better to leave the scenes when you're still being celebrated. You really don't have to take up just any and every opportunity. Let's be careful and be bold enough to identify when to say no when we have to. Do you know when you've had enough, done enough and when to step out completely? ‘Cos truly, life never ends when this happens.

On The Way There

As I prepare this note, I am filled with deep gratitude for my life and the many blessings of God I enjoy. One thing I know God has blessed me with, is the ability to think deeply about a matter.When a thought or idea comes my way the brooding process begins. It turns over and over, I perceive different dimensions to it, and then begin to spot and identify information around me that explains it more. A lot of times though, in His Presence (my Secret Place), I get conclusions and directions. Recently, this happened again.

 

I actually have some recordings on this, so I would start from there, knowing many aren’t privy. It’s on Purpose.Lately for me, the pursuit of purpose has practically consumed me. I pray a lot about it and have discussed with close ones too. The major concern for me, is not wanting to “dilly-dally”. Like I say often, I just want to hit the bull’s eye on this one. I won’t say I’ve got to a satisfactory point yet, but I would like to share some learnings God brought my way.

 

Many of us are also at that point, where we want to discover what we’re here for and living it, or that value we are meant to be adding or that message we are meant to be delivering.A big question however is, what is driving that pursuit? Is it the fear of being left behind by your peers or perhaps being outraced by those coming after you? Is it the ambition to achieve great feats just so your name can be recorded in some hall of fame? The truth is when these are weighed against ‘the Time beyond time’, these reasons won’t matter. What will go through to the life beyond now, is YOU and the thoughts of the One who is ever out of time, God Himself. And my take out on this was, WHO YOU BECOME while you pursue, discover and live purpose is key. In other words, are you becoming a better you according to His standard? Are you being refined into Gold?

 

The second learning for me came while discussing this topic again with a friend. It was further reinforced with a tweet I saw by TD Jakes on embracing the process. I’ll say on this simply- MAXIMIZE THE MOMENT. Many of us are so caught up in achieving certain things that we miss the details along the way.I asked someone lately, if you were blindfolded and made to touch the hand of five people (the sex/gender of your spouse), would you be able to tell who your spouse is? This may be simple for some, but what about other details like the fingers/toes of your kids. The window the sun shines through in the morning in your house. The taste of the different spices in your meal. The (new) logo on your favourite brand. Mmh… the details, the process, the journey… seemingly trivial, but very key as well.

 

The last, but definitely not the least is this. Discovery of purpose outside of discovering the One who made you is really incomplete. When it has all been said and done. We’ll get to the other life. To me, it’s the real life. It’s weird to put two strangers in a place to live forever. My thoughts, you certainly don’t want to spend eternity with someone you don’t know. Why not spend the time here, while going about pursuing purpose, getting to know the One who made you? This is more than what others tell you about Him or what you read. It should be you experiencing Him for yourself, and knowing Him one on one. I believe this on its own will give the sense of fulfillment that can’t be matched by any other experience this side of life.

 

I’m convinced that as we become careful and conscious of who we become, appreciate the details of our journeys /processes, as well as experience God ; discoveringand fulfilling purpose will become truly rewarding.

Pass On The Torch

The debate went well. It was another learning opportunity. It felt good being there to see how issues were taken by the candidates. However, the events that followed as the program came to a close were the most unpredictable, unplanned, infact the very last I could ever have considered would happen to me on such a day like that.

As I moved in the throng to extend my greetings to my mum’s friend, who I had noted earlier, I felt a hand slip swiftly into my bag and out. But I knew. I knew an item had been taken and it clicked immediately that it had to be my phone. Immediately, I turned around and grabbed the hand of a man who I felt was the closest to do such and was already turning away. I accosted him, ‘you put your hand in my bag now’. Ofcourse he denied, but while I confirmed to be really sure, he had walked away. Again I followed, pushing my way through the crowd and stopped the man again (well I think it was the same person), telling him he took my phone and all, this time, this one advised me to call the line. Alas, it dawned on me, there was no way to catch the perpetrator, everyone had been advised to leave their phones on silent or vibrate during the program.

I felt really sad, confused, everything negative but tried to pray. I prayed that somehow God would order my steps, show me mercy and show me favour. My prayer was answered.

So as not to bore you with the details, I’ll make it a brief one. I got the phone back. Less than 3 hours after the incident. The lady who gave me back explained that she had picked it when it fell on her leg in the crowd. I met her at her location and she returned it without collecting a dime.

On my way back I suddenly remembered an incident that occurred some weeks back. I had erroneously got an SMS for a recharge into my network via my phone. The remitter and beneficiary had reached me immediately pleading for me to refund. I couldn’t refund directly or do anything that night but the next day I sent back the PIN for the credit of the same value (an unplanned expense though). I got thank-you messages from them afterwards, to which I had replied saying – "...that’s the way we’ve been taught of the Lord, you can pass on the good works".

Truth is, the opportunity to do the right, to do good came my way, I harnessed it and it left me feeling great. I was also a recipient of someone who chose to do right, to do good and I know I was not the only one who felt wonderful but the lady would have as well.

It’s like a torch, we need to pass it on. I can imagine a world where we are all conscious of the needs of the next person; where we make it our personal objective to keep doing the right things and being good. The opportunity is there, the feeling is rewarding and priceless; when you are a recipient, you also enjoy like I did, the wonderful feeling of receiving kindness.

I encourage you with a few lines from my High School’s anthem

…Pass on the love that can transfigure…

We forward press not backward turning,
That this our torch more brightly burning
May yet pass on and on forever….

Everyman a War, Everyman a Dream

It's been only a few weeks since I resigned. And one of those things that categorize an exit now (especially when voluntary), is the mail composed and sent to one’s colleagues and friends, of the intending change with some encouragement or the other. Before mine, I had also got a number from those leaving to continue their studies, re-locating or getting a career change. One of such mails I would never forget was from a team member, whose had this – “… for every man is fighting his own war”.

In her mail, she was referring to the fact that we have to be more understanding of the seeming misbehaviours of others, as we need to keep in mind that such reactions are due to one reason or the other. Over time, I have come to somewhat agree with this. I have learnt that on a good day, most people want to do good. They want to be perceived as nice and friendly, easy-going, understanding…and all those other good qualities. However, some challenges (in and around) faced may not allow them be. I wouldn’t want to go the route of how we need to mature beyond the pressures we face to maintain our cool in this article, as I can imagine many may be thinking now.

However the truth is, many haven’t. Many may never get mature to the point of knowing how to keep challenges personal; and for them what do we do? For instance, I get to a supermarket in a happy mood, peaceful about a lot of things and mistakenly moving into the queue space of another lady who left a cranky baby in her car…I mean, even if she isn’t the vocal type….I would definitely get the look of my life. But then, she is only fighting her war. Sometimes I may just be doing this at the end of a string of “battles” and it’ll go beyond the look to a shove… because sincerely, she would have had it.

I have learnt therefore, that since I wouldn’t get any explanation from everybody for the battle they are in – losing a job/contract, being late for an important interview, a broken relationship, a sick loved-one, even a stain on a favourite dress - every misbehavior I get is mostly because of some challenge being faced. And for good, I need to be a war-hero by helping to win the war or at the least not start another.

On another note, I watched a documentary recently on Nigeria. Sad one I must confess. A dump-sorter being interviewed at some point referred to his daughter as a future Miss Universe. Sincerely I was wowed. I mean, he wasn’t concerned about the fact that they lived in a shack or that he made his daily living from the neighbourhood dump. This man had a dream that such a wonderful experience would come the way of his offspring. Then I discovered again…every man does have a dream. A dream to be more, to do more or to have more.

Once again, let’s not go into the issue of some dreams being unrealistic. Truth is, we have regarded some dreams as unrealistic and they have become reality. Who would have thought the black could be free, talk more of one being President of a country like the United States of America. Maybe I would be more akin to say a dream is bad (if it is at the expense of the good of others) than unrealistic. I’m learning now to be more careful with people, for really I’d rather be a dream-maker than a dream-killer.

My challenge on a final note is, let's be more conscious of how we handle others who have struggles (within or without), by being war-heroes. We need not add to them. Also, let’s treat the next man with care and respect, and when we can, help him achieve more by being dream-makers. Who knows what world war we could be preventing; or what other invention like electricity we could be discovering.

An Enabling Environment

I was opportune to revise with my daughter for her end of year’s exams sometime last month. One of the subjects for her class, General Knowledge covered a bit on Agriculture basics – types of soil. We studied the 3 major types (Clayey, Loamy and Sandy) and their uses. Just like most of us were taught way-back then, Loamy is the preferred for planting. It’s not that the others can’t allow for some form of growth, but definitely not anything good compared with what the loamy would do.

In the same month, there was an e-mail forward I came across, about a Nigerian family in Britain who had kids that were performing outstandingly beyond what their ages could ordinarily accomplish in academics. My colleagues and I discussed this seemingly chance happening but the consensus was that their being in Britain, in such schools and with such tutors, brought out the best in them.

These facts buttressed a learning - We thrive best in an enabling environment. Our potentials, our dreams, our plans are actualized best when we are located in an enabling environment; like a plant in the appropriate soil. A common saying I used to know goes like this – Apple trees don’t grow in Lagos. That means, there is place for everyone to come out in full bloom. My take on this is this - make sure you are located in your soil (your enabling environment).

However, beyond the physical environment, there is the mind-environment and association-environment. These as well must be supportive. To a great extent we even have better influence on them than even the physical. We can choose what goes on in our mind by what we feed it with and what people influence us by the choice of our confidants and friends.

A challenge then, could be in knowing when we are not in an environment that would be supportive to our potentials/dreams/aspirations. Also, when we are not and cannot move for some reasons, what we need to do.

In more advanced agriculture, each type of soil still has further classifications. Good farmers know which of these would give the best harvest for each crop. But first, they must know which crop they intend to cultivate. Same with us, the crop could be our dream, our plan or our potential. A previous article (Be Better, Know your SWOT -

www.folafayo.blogspot.com ) encourages us to know our strengths, for therein lies our potentials. When we know our crop, it would be easy to tell if the soil would aid growth and productivity. If I dream to be an Olympics medalist in swimming, and there is no pool within my reach, that dream is likely to remain a dream. It’s either I travel regularly to where one is or I re-locate close to one. My challenge on this is for you to note your plans, begin to dream, discover your potential, then you can tell if where you are would help actualize them. If your environment won’t be enabling, then move.

There may be instances when we feel the timing or some other reasons won’t allow us move to our preferred physical environment. What do we do while we wait? We must keep our mind and association environment in top gear. In other words, these two must be “fertilizing” to our plans, dreams or potentials. Just like some fertilizers can be used to enhance the ability of the soil when not good enough.

The state of your mind must become conditioned to bring you to thrive. You need to feed it with information that would motivate and inspire. You can learn to shut out negatives by focusing more on what is positive and what you desire to be. For associations, we need to minimize interactions with those who put us down, who laugh at our dreams and spend more time with those of like minds, those who make us think beyond where we are to what we can become.

We need to get the environment right (mind and association included) to keep energies up, passions alive, focus strong, till we come to full bloom and achieve.

Life – A Relay Race

Right now, my mind is jam-packed with recent learnings which I intend to sort out gradually and share, so I have decided to post this learning from my archive. It helped me in making certain resolve.

Sometime ago, I observed and heard the stories of those who passed on and the effect on their immediate family. And it gave me concern.

At the time this thought flooded my mind, I wondered majorly about the financial challenge that may come with the passing away of the parent on the young ones. Worse still if were both parents at the same time. Would there have been enough in place for the children to survive and live on, especially with the standard they enjoyed in the lifetime of their parent? Would there have been someone mandated with the responsibility to administer these funds, if all kids were minors, in a fair, wise and proper way? Would every area of their lives be well cared for – emotional, psychological, physical? Is there any establishment in place now that handles this fully?

Some would say there are insurance companies and all, but besides financial re-imbursement to the next of kin, are they saddled with the responsibility of somewhat filling that parent’s shoes especially when there is no worthy family member to take charge?

Then I discussed this at small meeting and I came out with the understanding that there are certain things you need to pass on to your young ones/put in place now so as to keep your mind at rest. So that come what may, when they take the baton from you at the time you pass it on, they would run their race even better than you did yours.

Firstly is the finance bit. This cannot be underestimated - Savings, investments and property. Never assume any sum is too small to set aside. Little drops make an ocean. Be diligent, be consistent. Along with this, is letting your spouse, lawyer or trusted friend/family in on whatever is in place for them. An uncle once told me when I marketed a company’s shares to him that, he would rather focus on property, since his kids could sue tenants for non-payment of rent and not the management of a company for non-payment of dividends. Different schools of thoughts but I got something from his counsel.

Secondly, you must imbibe the right values in them. The first may be a tough call for some but this one costs only time and conscious effort. If they can’t stand for something, they’ll fall for anything. Let your kids know what you stand for. Let them also know those values would make them outstanding, with or without you. Values like integrity, loyalty, excellence, humility, fairness etc are being used in companies now so everyone is functioning with the same mindset to sustain the business and its brand, how much more a lineage?

Thirdly, the ability to make something out of nothing or increase whatever comes into their hands. This would help them turn those lemons life offers them to lemonade. It would also enable them appreciate their small beginnings ad maximize the little they have in hand for greater things.

Lastly, but definitely not the least is faith & hope in God. This assures them someone greater than man is on their side. It would let them know come what may, the best is yet to come and will surely come.

So as we pray for long life, let’s remember, life is a relay as we pass the baton on to the generations after. Know the colour of your baton and let them know what colour they are looking out for to run with when it’s their turn.

Fix It Early

Tell tale signs, tell tale signs, they always show; before that thing goes real bad check it early. I’d always been a stickler for not waiting till things go bad before fixing it but I erred once and was only saved by grace.

Earlier in the year, my older child was feeling ill and we had taken her to see the doctor so she could be treated. At about that time the younger one was beginning to show some level of increase in body temperature but somehow we didn’t pay much attention to it. We had observed it going off and on but a little counsel here and there that it might not be anything much made us leave it at that.

Then it happened, one night while we slept I woke to the amazing level of warmth his body had got to. Really that must have been God. I had to use a moist cold towel on him through the night. I couldn’t even afford to go anywhere but the hospital first thing in the morning. The blood test recommended showed a very low level of immunity, real high malaria and all the doctor could tell me was – “I’m sorry you can’t take this boy home, it’s too bad. He has to be put on at least 48 hours intra-venous …” And you know the tears rolled down my eyes. And the thoughts were, you don’t wait around this long normally to treat this kind of issue, that inner voice (God talking) had warned, why in the world did I not act then?

I thank God today it is a testimony but not just that, it’s a lesson engraved in me. I won’t wait till it gets bad another time. On another note, all the drivers we’ve ever had had got that tip from us while working with us. If you notice anything, anything at all going wrong with the car, report it. I feel, I’m yet to be proven wrong, that cars for instance don’t just mess up real bad on a trip all of a sudden. They would have been giving off tell tale signs. If you were fortunate to notice that one thing before leaving home or work, please get it fixed. Do not, I plead, do not manage.

The truth is, beyond health and cars, these tell tale signs also show in other parts of life if we look real close especially relationships or with respect to replenishing items. When those tell tale signs of things not being okay begin to show, that’s the time to fix. It’s faster, safer and more cost efficient. Waiting and assuming it’ll fix itself or procrastinating the time to fix it, may take it to a point beyond fixing but need for a complete change. My challenge therefore is this, we need to get sensitive, pay attention to those signs when they occur and fix early. Do you need to fix anything today?

Haters

A good old friend of mine (Tolu) sent me a “forward” today. I had been contemplating on what to share before she sent it in. After reading it, it was clear to me that this discovery could be shared on Footsteps as well. I actually checked up the author (Maya Angelou) through google and realized a few other blogs had posted it before now.

I’ll be going ahead, however, to post it because I appreciate it and was also so moved by the final quote. It would be good to know those haters in our lives and handle them right, and also ask ourselves if we have been subtle ones in the lives of others and work towards a change.

Haters

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is evergood enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can be rest assured that the water bill is higher there too! We've all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:

a) Have a relationship with God

b) Light up a room when you walk in

c) Start your own business

d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb

(if he/she isn't about the right thing)

e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home.

Haters can't stand to see you happy. Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of me...

'Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know are not hating on you including the person who sent it to you. If you don't get it back, maybe you called somebody out! Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs. Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters...

BUT most of all don't become a HATER!

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

Maya Angelou

Plot Your Route

During one of our last vacations in the UK, we had to get to an uncle’s place by taking a cab. We had never been to this place before but were not so much concerned about missing our way because our hosts had made us understand that most if not all cabs had the Navigator (Satellite/GPRS). They also had one in their car as well.

To use the navigator one just had to specify the destination point and the starting point and it automatically plotted the route. In addition it would guide the user on where to turn to the left or the right, how long the distance would be before making another turn or coming to a stop.

In understanding how it works, one just needs to note that some major landmarks and geographic points had been identified in reality, for which the Navigator identifies & links via a satellite while mapping routes. And it is based on these that it plots the desirable routes.

So I ask, do you have a Navigator in place as we start this new year. Have you identified your destination in different areas of your life, have you identified major landmarks? For those who have and are even used to that annual habit I have a learning to share. For those who haven’t yet, I challenge you – take time out, reflect on where you are, where you want to be and write down those goals or dreams you desire to accomplish in this year.

Yes, write them down. It is not enough to know it in your heart, you need to write it down, so you can have a guide in place and also a list to tick off. Writing down helps you know when that opportunity comes knocking since you’ve identified what it is you want. You may want to look at different sub-headings – Spiritual, Marriage/Relationship, Family and Children, Academic/Career/Business and others.

My recent learning on goal setting which I hope to make a habit this year, however, is regular review. You just have to continue to see that thing, to desire it, to have it. That’s an advertising secret. It may not be enough to write it down and check it out at the end of the year, you need to go back to it, look at it regularly, add to it or take from it as the case may be and consciously put in place the necessary to accomplish it.

I have my Navigator already working, do you?