Don't Lose The Reason Why

Indeed there would be times in our relationships especially marriages when we ask ourselves - what exactly was the reason or purpose for this? Situations could come up to question why you even went far enough to say "I Do".

I believe God must have been touched by my musings on this, cos I was led to the popular scripture in Ecclesiastes...

Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much betterIf one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he's in troubleAlso on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone?And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; Three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken(Chapter6 v 9-12 TLB)

Rewind back to Gen 2v18... And the Lord said..'It isn't good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs'

Yes, scripture is our life manual, and definitely the best source for solutions on any issue and answers to questions we have. There are many other references to marriage aside these, but for now I would stay on these.

So here's my encouragement, when those thoughts come, remember...

1. Companionship is good and God had this in mind. In this relationship, you have a friend to talk to, someone to spend time with, share life with and all the blessings that come with it.

2. Man, she is your helper, suited to meet your needs. Equipped to, if you'll allow her.

3. Woman, you are his helper. With you, he is even better off.

4. Together, you accomplish more. Your results on things done jointly are way better.

5. Somehow, most times, you are not both down at the same time. So that the one up can support the one down to stand again. Many times you don't see things the same way, so that you can both share different perspectives on an issue for a more balanced position and decision. (When this happens with us, my hubby and I call each other 'check and balance')

6. A cold night, cozy under the blanket...nothing like a great love making to the one you're committed to and who is committed to you. You have the right to legit romance and passion, no rush, no guilt, no shame.

7. Back to back, that's your warfare position...you've got his/hers, he's/she's got yours.

8. The ultimate, ultimate...when the one who established it is involved, God Himself; as foundation, as wall around, as light by day and fire by night....it is guaranteed, destiny would be fulfilled, your Canaan would be reached and possessed.

To conclude on this, just recently I read some articles that further inspired me, so try to...

9. Remember those special things about him/ her that you fell in love with; that made your eyes so single (and focused back then) and your body full of light. That's why it is him/her not another. Remind him/her about these things.

10. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. So you don't fall into the error of abuse, thankfully re-commit to God. He has a way of restoring the specific sense of purpose of our marriages and the flame so many cares have started to almost blow out.

At His Feet,
Fola''Fayo

After the First NOEL

While growing up, Christmas was one occasion we all looked forward to. The Christmas parties for children, the visits to Santa (locally called Father Christmas) and the open house where family and friends we hardly see in the year come around to the house. Something my siblings and I enjoyed back then were the Christmas gifts our parents got us for the season.

These gifts would have been got a little while before the day, and then wrapped and kept at the Christmas tree on Christmas eve, when we all couldn’t wait to tear off the wraps as the time clocked the 1minute into Christmas. Like every child though, we were inquisitive about what was behind the wraps and would try to use all our senses to guess the gifts before unwrapping except of course the sense of taste.

We are trying to continue with this Christmas tradition now, so we got gifts for our kids and had them wrapped. Last night my daughter (after seeing their wrapped gifts) reminded me of something else we probably did then. It was to put more value on the size of the gift. She picked the bigger gift thinking that was hers and left the smaller one to her brother.

Thinking back now and through life, I’ve discovered indeed that many times the value we put on a thing, a person or even opportunity is determined by what we see. Usually the bigger the better. Or the more beautiful or likely the better. We also do the reverse sometimes, not appreciate a thing if it doesn’t seem to fit the image we had of it. But the truth is, many have missed opportunities by not waiting long enough to see what is behind the wraps or behind the first impression.

The Christmas story did that to many too. A king was being expected; a ruler, strong and powerful. What they saw and heard about was a baby, born in a manger – I'll call it the first NOEL. What they knew was a carpenter’s son. And so it was easy to despise and not believe He was the promise come to pass. I personally believe the promised Messiah came in flesh and my life has been better off looking beyond that first NOEL, beyond the wrap of humanity He had on while on earth to the Deity He is.

My encouragement to us all this season and for life in general is to be patient and wait till after the first NOEL, to look beyond the wraps, appreciate small beginnings so we would enjoy all that we expect even if they don’t seem to look so at the first meet.

Merry Christmas everybody, and thank you for being a part of FOOTSTEPS.

The Gift and The Giver

It’s another Valentine Season and I can bet everyone, or well maybe most people, will be cracking their heads now for options on what to give, something different from the previous years. There have been many views I’ve come across over time on this season, the most common being that we don’t have to wait till Valentine to show love or appreciate that loved one. True in some ways, but another angle to it is there just seems to be some different air of love/passion/appreciation around this time that no one wants to be left out.

I learnt also a while back that for an ideal or close to ideal gift pack, 3 major groups should be represented – Edibles, Useables and Keepables. Though this could just serve as a guideline of some sort. Edibles would be those things that can be eaten or drunk e.g. Chocolates, Wines etc. Useables would include Perfumes, Watches and Hygiene packs etc and Keepeables would be those things that can be preserved for a long time, maybe on display for others to appreciate e.g. Teddies, Jewelry, Electronics etc. so as you think through what to get for that loved one this year, you could consider these groups.

However, I learnt something new today as I pondered these gift options. Some few years back, our apartment was burgled, amongst the items taken was a laptop given to us as a wedding gift from our Dad. Truth is, that gift is gone but the giver is still there. In other words the giver of that gift needs to be dearer to us than the gift; he/she is the one that the appreciation must remain for.

Yes a few times that giver just doesn’t get that gift we seem to want at that time or would prefer, but the gift may finish like the Edibles or Useables or even get damaged or lost or stolen or wear out like the keepables, which leaves us with the Giver or memories of the Giver. This Valentine lets try to look beyond the gift to the giver, to that one who loves us so to remember us at this time and appreciate us enough to get a gift or send a message of love or appreciation.

Happy Valentine