Monthly BroadCast 2016 (Second Quarter)

April 2016

One reason why having goals is a great thing is that it gives us something to look forward to. Something new, something better or maybe even someone through new connections.

A new quarter is always an opportunity to review goals we have set for ourselves, family, career or business. Now is a time to pick up that list and get inspired to give ourselves a good pat on the back for those we can cross out and a re-boost on those we need to buckle up on.

And if you don't have a list, it's not late to pen something down. One line on every area of your life is a great way to start. A little step at a time and you'll definitely get there.

Have an Awesome April

May 2016

So, most times we have some fantastic ideas we want to launch out on. Some to impact lives and some mainly for personal development or perhaps to enrich our relationships. But many times we stall, infact most times we stall.

Here's one thing one of my mentors advised - start anyway and keep tweaking. More often than not, we are waiting for the perfect time. But there really isn't always a perfect time. 

Greatness begins with the little things...poco a poco. Even with errors, you'll be learning as you go. And will more likely get there than not starting. When it does get so tough, latch on to a word of encouragement that will bring back a stir.

May your May be blessed 

Fondly

June 2016

Of late life as a relay has been on my mind. Relay races, unlike other track events, have batons exchanged within a team at different points till the finish line is reached. Typically lots of practice is essential ahead of the day. And of course the right sports gear must be worn. 

At a time like this, you need to become conscious of the race you will run or are currently running. So, which team have you made yourself a part of? Do you all have eyes on the same and correct finish line? Do you know who you will take the baton from? Check who you are following (especially unconsciously). Are you aware someone somewhere is somewhat gearing to take a baton from you? (What legacy/footprints are you leaving behind?) Are you practicing rigorously enough to run your best? Will you keep on till the finish line is reached?

When this awareness settles with us, we are able to live even more deliberately. In particular though, ensure you take your baton from the right person(s) and handover with grace and inspiration. Give your best always and persevere till the finish.

May your June be filled with Joy

Fondly

@Folafayo

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A Standby Shoulder, An Earnest Ear

Happy New Year to you all. It’s the first post this year and I trust it would bless you like others have. For me, and this I pray for you too, this year would be specially different. There would be a special difference in every area of life. That would make the year remarkable and memorable. I guess we all have certain things we are looking forward to and I know by Divine grace, they’ll be achieved.

I hope the title of the post will be the appropriate for this post. I feel it’s important that it does, so that by remembering the title after now, the message would be refreshed in our minds. As I have come to appreciate these parts of the body more after 2 recent incidents.

Sometime last year, a young Nigerian attempted to bomb an airplane flying into America. The news was perceived from different angles by different people as all other news we hear. However, what moved me the most was a reference in a dailies article to this young lad once saying he was lonely. A little more was said on him feeling set-apart in ideology from a few around him. And sincerely it gave me concern.

Not long after this, an acquaintance of mine mentioned a comparative story of a lady who just committed suicide, leaving behind her child who was less than 4 years old. She had lost her husband a year or two before then and was having a few challenges, finance being the major. Again, I felt really concerned.

My conclusion was this, or rather a question that rose in my heart was – would a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear to talk to have made a difference? I strongly believe so. For this young man for instance, the tell tale signs of him needing the shoulder and ear (peharps mum’s/dad’s) was when he observed his loneliness. His situation gradually took a better part of him and he became willing to die, even if it was for a cause he alone believed in. This lady was probably unable to find a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to in order to unburden her despair, she also became willing to end it all, because she didn’t feel she had a cause to live for or the will to survive any longer.

My challenge to all is this, identify a standby shoulder and an earnest ear and grab it when you begin to feel discouraged with life, feel lonely, feel broke, feel intimidated, feel sad or any other negative feeling. Even if you do not seek counsel at that time, you need to be able to unburden before you get over-burdened and then probably lose hope. I even have a list, God and my hubby being top 2.

Another side to it is this; we may actually be saving a life and not know we’re doing it by being a standby shoulder and earnest ear. Sometimes we need to be discerning enough to allow that “chatter-box” to talk, or unwind that “quiet one”. You could be one to your parent, sibling, colleague, neighbour or even the next passenger in a bus. It could be at a time when they need hope re-stirred in them. And we are the only ones available to do so.

On a final note as we continue in the year, don’t forget to get discerning as your shoulder, your ear, your smile, your touch, your words in season could save a life.

Going Beyond "I'm Sorry"

I was in a vehicle with someone recently and as usual we were discussing issues, personal experiences and those we had heard about. Somewhere along the line, she made mention of a “cold war” recently resolved between herself and someone close to her.

As usual, or more often than not, as occurs in conflicts, both parties felt in the right and felt were owed the apology. Of course, things dragged a while, till that inner voice desiring peace compelled her to take the first step towards apologizing and eventually reconciling. And just prior to that time, she had almost decided there was no going forward with that friendship. In essence what could have led to a complete break in a relationship was handled maturely and they are better off for it.

For me, I have also had my share of tough times with friends, colleagues, acquaintances and all, but I learnt early the place of talking things over. It does a lot. Again I emphasise - it does a lot. Issues or conflicts can be handled in many ways, you could pretend it is not there, run away from it, let out your mind angrily or deal with it maturely.

Pretending it’s not there, would be falsehood. Truth is it’ll gradually pile up and gradually eat away at the foundation till one day, when something seemingly small makes the whole fall apart. Running away from it, would be cowardice. Truth is in life, certain things will keep occurring even at our new locations of escape till we deal with it and have the skill to handle it right. To let out your mind angrily would be destructive, you’ll say things you’ll regret, you’ll do things you can’t mend and hurt the dear one.

My take – deal with it maturely. It wouldn’t enough to just say sorry. Anyone can say sorry and not really be sincere about it. I’ll say, go a step further to make sure you talk about it. Why? Talking heals, it allows you to see where all concerned are coming from, what exactly went wrong and sometimes how badly hurt those concerned were. Essentially it naturally keeps you on the alert about what to look out for before such repeats itself, you know each other better and many times can boldly tell someone else what that person wouldn’t take, you become an advocate.

Sometimes talking over may not be immediate, simply apologizing could do for that time. But when you can sense it is right, do the talking. I have done some talking over for some conflicts I’ve faced, for some others, I await the right time. Besides what’s life really about if not in loving and relationships, lets live then and keep those relationships alive and healthy.

The Maze Of Life

I was pondering recently on some of my friendships, or would I say the relationships I’ve had along in life so far. Some are still very alive, some just there and others almost put out. I’ll say categorically that I’m one of those who don’t believe in cutting a friend off. Why? Why would you wake one day and decide not to keep relating to someone you share nice memories with? For those who do, some guts there I must say. But this topic would be for another time.

While I refer to these relationships, my focus is on the fact that I’ve discovered that each individual has a path to go through in life, and if you decide to walk yours comparing yourself to others in a negative way, you’ll be doing yourself more harm than good. “They that compare themselves with themselves are not wise”, says the scriptures. While we can learn from others, we should never be caught in the web of ungodly comparison. It can paralyze instincts and also make you to see yourself in the moulds of others, and not in your God given mould.

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem

The truth is that, while keeping relationships, we tend to go through certain phases of life with certain people, even sharing the same experiences with them and making the same choices. However, a time will come when those seemingly same or familiar paths will get to separate (or come back together for some), all because of the different paths designed for each individual to go through in life. There is a proverb that says 20 children cannot play together for 20 years. How true!

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem in the path they have to go through or what they might have even overcome before getting there. As such, comparing yourself with another person would only do you good, when you consciously make it a positive exercise.

I’ll emphasize positive exercise because the focus would be on how to challenge yourself by what the other person has become or has, or the lessons the person has learnt when they didn’t do it right. Take for example, a colleague who is doing well in business and has prospered. You can whine all day daydreaming about the days you spent together in school – how that you were a better student than him, how you were more spiritual than him (and probably still is), how you had better opportunities than him, and all that. That wouldn’t help you much. What will help is to ask what he has done to get to where he is today. What has he learnt on his way to the top? What are the shortcomings and failures he has learnt from? This is the positive way to challenge yourself to greater heights.

I hope I can exposit further on this in the coming posts.

Happy Independence!