We Can...Cos We Have

Some weeks back, my sister (an upcoming International Image Consultant) facilitated a session with the family. It was one of the outcomes of her recent training in the career she has become so passionate about. It entailed us writing a few points on the areas we felt positively about every other person present at the table. So as to maximize time, we were limited to 3 points per person and had to conclude within a limited time. Afterwards, with a focus on each person, we were to share one by one, these areas we had noted, whilst addressing the person directly. Thereafter the person would respond to all that had been said or shared about him or her.

I must confess this session didn’t only leave us feeling good about ourselves with those encouraging words we heard, we were also a little shocked as we discovered abilities we probably hadn’t thought much of that we possessed. Even though I have been in sessions like this prior to this time, this one gave me the opportunity to hear some wonderful things about me again, and it was somewhat different because it was coming from family.

A precious part to this meeting was that each of us acquired reinforced knowledge of where we were good at, we were reminded of those things we do so naturally, with little or no effort…our areas of strength. I was then motivated to ponder more along this line, and also to continue reading a book my unit in my local church recommended for new intakes – Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. My ponderings still continue, but I would like to share my thoughts so far, some discoveries, some reminders, though it may take me more than this article to do so.

We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions and callings. Abraham H. Maslow

In a world like ours where expertise, specialties and achievements are celebrated, the tendency is for us to assume only a few are blessed or endowed with (special) abilities. This few being those in the limelight. We are inclined to belittle any skill that seems less than the ‘acceptable/celebrated standard’. Sometimes it’s just our orientation of what we consider as a potential - that ability that could eventually distinguish someone. For instance a long time ago, being able to kick a ball was just a form of play, it wasn’t perceived by many as any “special ability”. Today it is seen differently, it is a likely money-spinner.

Let’s be comforted knowing this, no one exists without a special “something” in and to them. WE ALL HAVE STRENGTHS - inherent giftings or potentials. Each of us has at least one natural, special ability. We all have something we came to the world with, that differentiates us, something we can use for good. It could be skill tied or relationship based, it could be mental or even physical. More often than not, we won’t have or express the same abilities in the same manner or degree. So it doesn’t matter what others have perceived about you or what you have probably thought of yourself before now, everybody has something to offer, a part to play in the whole circle of life. As I meditate more on this, I remember the title of a message I heard some years ago….there’s GOLD in you.

To be continued...

The Maze Of Life

I was pondering recently on some of my friendships, or would I say the relationships I’ve had along in life so far. Some are still very alive, some just there and others almost put out. I’ll say categorically that I’m one of those who don’t believe in cutting a friend off. Why? Why would you wake one day and decide not to keep relating to someone you share nice memories with? For those who do, some guts there I must say. But this topic would be for another time.

While I refer to these relationships, my focus is on the fact that I’ve discovered that each individual has a path to go through in life, and if you decide to walk yours comparing yourself to others in a negative way, you’ll be doing yourself more harm than good. “They that compare themselves with themselves are not wise”, says the scriptures. While we can learn from others, we should never be caught in the web of ungodly comparison. It can paralyze instincts and also make you to see yourself in the moulds of others, and not in your God given mould.

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem

The truth is that, while keeping relationships, we tend to go through certain phases of life with certain people, even sharing the same experiences with them and making the same choices. However, a time will come when those seemingly same or familiar paths will get to separate (or come back together for some), all because of the different paths designed for each individual to go through in life. There is a proverb that says 20 children cannot play together for 20 years. How true!

It would therefore be wrong to assume that someone is at an advantage to you all because of how things are working out for them now; because you really don’t know what lies ahead of hem in the path they have to go through or what they might have even overcome before getting there. As such, comparing yourself with another person would only do you good, when you consciously make it a positive exercise.

I’ll emphasize positive exercise because the focus would be on how to challenge yourself by what the other person has become or has, or the lessons the person has learnt when they didn’t do it right. Take for example, a colleague who is doing well in business and has prospered. You can whine all day daydreaming about the days you spent together in school – how that you were a better student than him, how you were more spiritual than him (and probably still is), how you had better opportunities than him, and all that. That wouldn’t help you much. What will help is to ask what he has done to get to where he is today. What has he learnt on his way to the top? What are the shortcomings and failures he has learnt from? This is the positive way to challenge yourself to greater heights.

I hope I can exposit further on this in the coming posts.

Happy Independence!